Notes - Amen

         Mid-afternoon. You are stopped at the Tanger Outlets Mall half way between Columbus and Cincinnati on I-71. Carol is buying extra socks for the Maine trip and clothes for Owen.

         You said your private good-bye to Bob and he to you.

         Yes.

         You look for words that are unnecessary. Patti said you could inform mutual friends. You had not because you wanted to check with her first. Patti also said there would be no funeral, that there may be a memorial service later in September after you arrive back, but she said she is unsure at present.

         I dreaded the idea I was going to miss the funeral so I was thankful there would not be one. Bob’s decision, I’m sure. I like it. I don’t want a funeral either. People have their lives – they can mourn in private. Bob said he would be cremated and Patti said he has a quote from Yeats that he wants on the cup holding the cremains. No burial. I can accept that too, though as we have plots I would like a small stone following that of my parents’ in law who we will be ‘resting’ next to us. I would still like the “Mostly Fiction” but in reality that probably won’t happen. This event sobers up my fantasy on the subject.

         Bob had talked his decision over with the family after he discover there were pitfalls in the back surgery he was to have today. Patti said he was ‘empowered’ by his decision to stop all hospital operations and come home to die in peace. She said it has helped to restore his dignity. This I could see. No more slight shrug of the shoulder when another trip to the hospital was in order. He may have a couple more days, but when we talked he apologized for his intermediate focus from time to time. We said our good-byes and he drifted off to sleep. Twenty some years since the kidney transplant that allowed for his continued life. Much has happened in those years – with family, children and grandchildren. We had our adventures also. Patti said as we were leaving, “You were there with us at the first.” I was as Bob’s best man at their wedding. It is sad, but everyone in the family in comfortable with Bob’s decision, a conscious act of dignity as to how and when he should leave this place. Bob has no regrets, and neither do I. Amen.

         Good. You stumbled on to the addition, the “Amen,” but humanity needs an “Amen” once in a while as a reminder of how things are in the real world. Post when you return home. No more today. “Amen,” is a good caption. Go with it. – Amorella.