Good Yule tidings to all! Always renewed hope when the sun continues to come up each day and each day slowly gets longer in the process. It is part of a greater circular argument in our neck of the universe, but logic not withstanding, it continues to work as far as our world’s growth and species’ needs for light are concerned. We are at Linda and Bill’s about to sit down for Christmas dinner at their fully decorated house and lawn. Time to eat. Later.
1400 hours. I need to remind myself how it is with a ‘confrontation’ with Amorella when she said she had startled my soul (in the last published/ post). I have had far worse confrontations. Amorella has always been correct in her assessments of my thoughts. Ego gets its gander up. I have learned to listen. When quickly reminded I had thought, “maybe this confrontation will sell the books”. Perhaps it comes from a survival instinct, but I don’t need nor do I care how many books I sell. Yet, I was embarrassed by the thought that I was to sell more books.
When Amorella replied: “It is your soul that is shaken, boy. It does not know who I am and is beginning to realize it.” I attempted to pull myself together to its center as I backed away (which is never easy as it requires an odd but necessary respectful detachment deep within – everything ‘me’ is ‘let go’ to ‘near-nothing’.
This psychological setting of ‘being near-nothing’ reminds my imagination of how it might be being dead. My ‘imaginary’ concept of being one to one with an angelic-like creature is that there is nothing for me to hold onto but the tiniest aspect of ‘being’ which becomes ‘b-e-i-n-g’. No solid ground to stand on plus having nothing with which to stand. This is not ‘empty’ as what is left is the essence of what I am, my humanity, and this is enough. But woe to the individual who does not know who and what sheorhe is when faced with such a creature of untimely innocence that ‘sees’ through you from the outside in and from the barest of inside out. “B-e- i/A –n-g”. No place to run – you whither and die or stand your ground, what there is of it, and back away respectfully – the ‘Presence’ is a light that allows you no shadow to hide in. You recognise your error (your self-deception) and acknowledge it with the humility deserved. No choice otherwise. That’s how I learned to come to see the Dead in the Merlyn series. Each has had the confrontation and survived. To me it is authentic enough. – 1427 hours. – rho
It is well you put this down while it is still attached, boy. Fiction or no, the above is as honest a statement as any other in this blog. - Amorella
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