Notes - new thoughts, few words / a perception for Merlyn

       You are at Easton sitting under cover in the Macy's north lot while Carol and Mary Lou go shopping. You enjoyed the funeral service (Mifflin Presbyterian Church in Gahanna) for Aunt Catherine Hammond Zulauf for two reasons; one, for the bagpiper at the beginning and conclusion of the service and; two, for the Presbyterian sermon.

         If I had a funeral (which I do not request), I would want a bagpiper and a Presbyterian minister. Isn't this strange coming from an agnostic such as myself? The minister used 'predestination' four or five times in his service. It has been so long since I have heard such familiar words of childhood; familiar words and a familiar hymn (How Great Thou Are). Being raised First Presbyterian in Westerville was not the same as being raised Evangelical United Brethren, Methodist or Baptist. If memory serves me right, at least in my case, it has to do with intellectual tone as well as with faith. In any case I recollected the Presbyterianism but the church architecture is not in my mind as formal as in the First Presbyterian. I am amazed at the stubbornness in my religious attitude here. Where is this coming from?

         This is a reminder of your personal historic cultural indoctrination, orndorff. - Amorella

         And, I find myself resenting your use of "indoctrination". Immediately I find myself in a defensive mode. Am I still so proselytized as in my youth? How does your HeavenOrHellBothOrNeither fit this into its metaphysical scheme, or does it? The spiritual self appears so different than the religious self at least in my case.

         For consistency's sake the paraphrase, 'Give unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto G---D what is G---D's' will do nicely here. How else to you think there would be a shared alien-world higher conscious species in the same Place of the Dead? - Amorella

         This leaves me with few words. (1435)

         How about that? Post when you have the wherewithal. - Amorella

          2150 hours. In the above situation earlier today I felt the reminiscence of being Dead and being interrogated by an Angelic Presence. I feel I have been in this situation before. I am embarrassed to disclose this as it is/was only psychological.

        

         Again, you are running out of words. - Amorella

         I said to myself, "I give up the world." I meant it but it was a spiritual debate within and I just gave it up. I thought to myself, "I have the world on a string. I was thinking of the string and the washer, so it was during that time when I was experimenting or learning how to use my subconscious directly. I was letting my subconsciousness or unconsciousness write freely, before you or my personification of you as Amorella. I said to myself, "I have the world on a string. It is not my world. I give the world back to G---D, rightfully it is his world not mine." Then I was spiritually free. I felt spiritually free. It is not my world, as if it were a gift, and I returned it. Thus, I think this is where my unconsciousness recites a Biblical passage of giving unto Caesar what is Caesar's as a reference.

         This is how you remember it. And, here you are once again. Do you have any regrets? - Amorella

         No, I do not.

         Neither do I. Post. - Amorella

         But I have never before thought of my early Presbyterianism as Caesar's. I did not think in those terms. It sounds offensive of me to think such a thing even as an agonistic, but this gives me a renewed concept of what the words might really mean, that is spiritually, at least for me. Giving unto G---D means heartansoulanmind, the human spirit, at least in the books. Even in a fiction it appears to me to be a truth. Surviving physical death means literally giving the world up, giving the spirit up, giving it back and in the process, one's consciousness and memory via heartansoulanmind continues to survive intact. Even in a fiction this appears to me to be a truth.

         It can be a truth in the fiction, boy, that is the point. It will be a truth in the Merlyn books, in the revised editions.

         I can live with this because I have experienced it psychologically.

         I would not have you write anything you could not live with, boy. You have no more humanity than anyone else. We are going to have consistency of heartansoulanmind in these books because the reader, and you as first reader, may gain a broader perception of the human world beyond herorhis mind alone. Now, post. - Amorella

         This perception is fiction. I can live with this too.

         The humor here boy is that were these Merlyn stories a so called 'truth' and not a fiction, there would be Hell to pay. There's a short sermon for you alone to think on. Tomorrow we will continue with Grandma-5. - Amorella

          2243 hours. I just observed that my earlier posting, the one this afternoon, was actually posted. Now, I have two posting in one day. 

        Leave this as it is, two postings in one day, as a reminder of your imperfect humanity. - Amorella