20 March 2013

Notes - consistent wiring / rather odd / a twist of dark humor


          0830 hours. It is the first day of Spring, and I have completed fourteen chapters of Great Merlyn's Ghost. And, I have learned some things along the way, one that Pyl more closely identifies herself with Ship then the marsupial humanoids themselves. She was struck by the humanity built into Ship. In the first trilogy my focus was on Blake first, mostly because of his name Blake Williams as opposed to William Blake. And of course at the time I felt that two poets whose works best represented my own feelings towards the world, William Blake and Emily Dickinson. I lack their talent of course but we have a similar sense of intellectual-by-the-word romance in our hearts.

         Yes, different focus. This time the story is altered by Yermey who becomes the center of attention and not Friendly, who of course, is partially identifiable as your later-in-life muse. This is a matter of both your growth as a writer and your life experience relative to your age. - Amorella

         I wanted to avoid Yermey because of his intelligence.

         A lot of people want to avoid others because they appear more intelligent. The point is that they are just as human as everyone else. - Amorella

         You exercised for fifty minutes today, somewhat making up for none yesterday. - Amorella

         1100 hours. I did.

         You have nothing else to say? - Amorella

         No. Nothing going on, Amorella. No thoughts. Nothing. The sky is mostly blue a few spotty clouds. It's cold, well, I assume it's cold. That reminds me of "My Dinner with Andre" where Andre says, "I like the cold." and the other says he likes his electric blanket. I can't remember the other fellow's -- I remember, it's Shawn Gregory. What a wonderful film that is. I'll bet it's Andre Gregory and Shawn ?. Other than Dinner he was best in "The Princess Bride", another wonderful film though quite different in scope. I'll have to Google it. (What would a person like me do without Google?) ---- Wallace Shawn and Andre Gregory. Now for the quote:

         ** **
Andre: I wouldn't put on an electric blanket for any reason. First, I'd be worried if I get electrocuted. No, I don't trust technology. But I mean, the main thing, Wally, is that I think that kind of comfort just separates you from reality in a very direct way.

From: My Dinner with Andre written by Gregory and Shawn

         ** **

         1151 hours. We are cleaning more out of the basement. I am taking all the old electronics to a recycler on Kenwood Road in Blue Ash. I think it is time to dump a lot of old manuscripts too. No reason to keep them. I'll keep my notes for now but eventually they will go too. All the books, I can get rid of a lot of them now. A few special ones I'll keep for the time being. It was a shock to my system when I through out my old Harvard Classic editions and the curriculum series from the Chicago fellow who used to be head of Encyclopedia Britannica. I can get them online if need be, if I want to look something up. I love Wikipedia; it is my favorite, my primary first source. Other than Wikipedia I lean towards scientific and scholarly sources. Why do I do this, talk to myself like this?

         To keep your thinking focused. Sometimes though, it is what goes through your head, as it goes, because your fingers are directly connected to your thoughts. Probably habit more than anything else. I put up with it because what you say is who you are at the moment. If your brain begins to malfunction you will know it, it will be self-evident through your fingers and the keyboard. - Amorella        

         This is a good thing. I had not given any consideration to a mental breakdown. I like this. I might as well be the first to know if the wiring is no longer consistent. (1230)

         Post. - Amorella


         You were goofing off and decided to goggle your name with poetry in front of it. Lo and behold, you found a poem, or at least a part of a poem. Here it is:

** **

books.google.com/books?id=IJIeAQAAIAAJ
National Poetry Association (U.S.) ... ECHOES Richard Orndorff Otterbein C. click - from the high of quiet mountains Gabriel shouts the Word of God. and the Word roars low into the deep of lonesome valleys. clack - the heavens darken with

** **

         It is rather embarrassing to be seen checking my name out in poetry because so few were published but one made it via Google. Such a surprise. I wrote in search: "Poetry - Richard Orndorff".

         My point is that you have been writing about G---D since 1965, and you were an agnostic then. - Amorella

         I have, haven't I. Strange. Rather odd, actually.

         Post. - Amorella

         Why would I do that?


         Late evening. You have taken a break for the rest of the day. You and Carol had a Graeter's for lunch, spent quite a bit of time picking up a new AAA book on Texas, deciding on what motel to go with at the Austin Airport and also reading over material on the Grand Canyon as well as you and Carol watched "NCIS" and "Body of Proof" from last night.

         2159 hours. I guess this is late evening; it certainly is closer to bedtime than not. 
Tomorrow Carol has breakfast with old friends and then around lunchtime a visit to get her hair done. This means a late lunch. I hope it is at Longhorn. We did not go out for meals today as we had leftover pizza and ice cream for lunch.  Mostly I'm tired and am ready for bed. Tomorrow I can begin Dead 15. I assume it begins with Merlyn waking up dead.

         Do you want to resolve why you have focused on G---D, mostly since the age of twelve? - Amorella

         Okay. Why?

         You did not want to be born. - Amorella

         Why the age of twelve?

         One, because you were mature enough to think more deeply about it; and two, the spiritual conflict caused by having to lie through the Apostle’s Creed oath while joining the church reinforced the reason you did not want to be born.  - Amorella

         I must have felt it wasn't just for me to be born since I didn't want to be born. I shouldn't have survived being a bit less than two pounds. One would think I would hate science since that is the reason I survived, but I love science. Here's what I think. It goes back to having crossed wires in the brain, to having a learning disability. I confused a construction of thought based on crossed premises. This is the simplest and most reasonable explanation. I am not angry with G---D. 

        This is not a complete response, but it is honest for as far as it goes. Post. - Amorella

        How can I possibly go further?

        You cannot. - Amorella

         It is no wonder I am so dark-humored. 

         An 'almost' smile formed, boy. Funny predicament, huh? - Amorella


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