Notes - discomfort for heartansoulanmind / Bracc to show in Dead 20 / Intro Dead 20

        Mid-morning. You have a few chores and errands to do before Linda and Jean arrive at suppertime. Spaghetti pie is on the menu, one of your favorites. Yesterday you added a bit to the notes before Fritz arrived but after you stopped by Aunt Patsy and Uncle Ernie's and had a good time, good conversations. Uncle Ernie is not well but his voice is as dynamic as ever. He completed chemotherapy for this throat cancer but he is too frail for surgery. They could not listen to your newest book but Uncle Ernie had questions and wants to make sure the marsupial humanoids are treated well by the end of the series. You still find it difficult to believe he remembers those three books so well. We will make it one that Uncle Ernie will enjoy.

         After Wendy left with Uncle Ernie and Aunt Patsy for doctor appointments you drove by Cathy and Tod's but it didn't look like anyone was home and you hadn't called. So you pulled over and stopped and called Paul to wish him a Happy Birthday. He suggested you stop by; and you did. It was a fun afternoon with the boys then back to Westerville for the class gathering. You stayed later than expected and by the time you arrived home and chatted for about a half hour or so you went to bed without publishing.

         Here is the rest of yesterday's notes.

        

***

         You are awaiting Fritz at Bob Evans and plan to show him how things are on your blog, statistics, etc. You are concerned that your humanity is showing, that you are less of a person for looking at the stats. The specific concern is false modesty. This is from someone who has, in the last thirty days, has the following hits from the following countries:

United States         482

Russia                     205

France                     134

Sweden                   045

Germany                 040

Poland                    034

Ukraine                   033

Netherlands           029

China                      027

Un. Kingdom          020        

         1152 hours. For me I'm sure this is an all time high. Of course I can easily imagine that fifty percent of these last one to five seconds, just long enough for the viewer to realize this was not the circumstance they expected. In fact, I can show this on my Stat Counter: 66.7% were less than 5 seconds; 18.2% were from 30 seconds to 5 minutes; 3% were from 5 minutes to 20 minutes and 12.1% were longer than an hour. I was wrong, not fifty percent, almost sixty seven percent were less than five seconds. I am surprised though that twelve percent were on longer than an hour. [These stats on percents are not valid because my ID address is included. Sorry.]

         This is the first time you have ever checked this statistic and it bothers you that anyone would spend an hour on your blog when you hardly ever spend more than a few minutes, and even then it is to sometimes re-read a post from an earlier year. - Amorella

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         0933 hours. I was hoping you were not going to include this bit above because I find it awkward.

         What you find awkward is that although it might sound great to have more people reading than before you don't really want too many readers because it makes you uncomfortable because you appear vulnerable because of your honesty. - Amorella

         These are working and experimental notes in automatic writing. I am a private person. I do not speak well. I tried to explain this developing theory on the soul to Fritz but I did not have the words for it. I cannot speak well. Such is the irony. People make me uncomfortable even in the family setting.    

         You have nothing else to say? - Amorella

         Not without being redundant.

         Post. - Amorella                   

          1109 hours. I have the downstairs dusted and the shower curtain in the guest bathroom back up with the rod tightened better. It has slid down to the tub twice in the last month. I did not realize (or had forgotten) the rod can be screw (pressure) tightened to the tiles at both ends. I have the Dead 20 document ready for use but I have nothing to say. What have the Dead surmised about souls that we living haven't? And, what does quantized time have to do with it?

         It appears this needs a conversation in response. Who among the Dead would Merlyn best converse on such a topic? - Amorella

         I have no idea but I would be more comfortable with a philosophical conversation, though not by bringing back a once great Greek philosopher character, except for Socrates because of his questioning. I don't think Socrates is a character though.

         Mid-afternoon. Linda and Jean arrived earlier than expected. Socrates is not a character. Why don't we go with a character in Grandma's Stories? - Amorella

         1456 hours. This seems odd, although Grandma's characters are dead also. Same place I guess.

         Run through the stories and see one you like, it makes no difference to me. - Amorella

         This is weird. It is like some sort of cross-reference situation. It clumps my mind, Amorella. Brain freeze. (1459)

         1518 hours. I have gleaned the stories and the one I favor, mostly because the others don't seem to fit, is Grandma's Story Six with Bracc as the main character. Here is what I feel is important about him from the story.

** **

            Bracc stood suddenly realizing the man was right. There is nothing new in telling a haunting story of gray ghost in the box. I am a travesty, he thought. He felt his face redden like it gave up on him. He glanced to Erca whose eyes were now cast down as she instinctively sheltered their child more closely.  Bracc's thinking grew ridged and stone. I shall be remembered as a storyteller nevertheless.

            Bracc quickly confessed, "I deceived myself to even think that I could reinforce a story with tricks and devices. The Dead cannot talk with the Living. This story is my imagination alone. But it will be remembered." Bracc stood before the crowd in a mind fully naked and empty. Feeling so fully alone and embarrassed Bracc collapsed and died.

For some Bracc's last thoughts are in your genes, both the storytellers and the first listeners. I am Grandma your earliest earthy nature, human DNA ever moving forward onto a world.

Bracc and Erca are now long reposed

With sons and daughters since surrogated;

Grandma's mouth would be forever closed

But for those strands and molecules correlated.

From Grandma's Story 6, GMG.1

** **

         Bracc is a good choice because he had learned a great lesson before he died; and of course, now you see there is the irony when Bracc says, "The Dead cannot talk with the Living." - Post. - Amorella

        Those statistics from earlier are not valid because when I looked into more specific details I found my own ID address is included. Dumb move on my part. (1555)

         Leave them in anyway. - Amorella

        The others are watching the national news. Earlier you ate supper out as Carol did not have the time to prepare dinner. Linda wanted to go to Skyline Chili and that is where you went. You ate too much and are uncomfortable and feel like you might be dead by morning. Be civil, boy. Go watch the news. - Amorella

         2155 hours. I have the intro to Dead 20. I have asked Doug to look it over as he has a billiard table and I'm sure has played much more recently than I have. This has been fun in the sense that I feel I was writing this myself, modifying this draft several times within this last hour. When Amorella writes I do not spend time 'tinkering' with the words.

         Good observation. Yes, you were on your own here because you immersed yourself in the paragraphs. The key here is that you were as in a soul in the story, 'swimming' into the concept. Do you understanding my wrinkle? Where was 'time' when you were immersed? This is something to sleep on tonight. Tomorrow will be busy. We will write and blog if and when convenient. Post. - Amorella

         2204 hours. For a moment, I think a 'wordless flash' froze in memory. I hope it did. I will have to reflect on this. A soul as swimming in a mental fluidity; this is what comes up. But in the story it is more than mental and more than heartfelt. This is an interesting construction to imagine. I am back, moving into six points at once, more the size of an inch or two, but it translates down into some words. The image is as solid as the mountaintop on which it rests -- six immaterial points frozen of all sense of tense.

         You have the idea; a concept to work on. The fluidity is the frameless out of time; yet better, it is the hinted reverse of this as far as these Merlyn books go. Good day tomorrow, boy. Enjoy it. - Amorella

***

The Dead 20 - Intro

            Merlyn awoke standing amongst the white foxglove and red poppy just east of the stage ruins. His eyes focused first on his mind's pillar, the giant Oak and on to the boulder and beyond to his hut. His eyes slowly moved to beyond the hut, the heather, the narrow woods and they rested on six tall blades of grass by the river. Six, he thought.

            A billiard table rose from a short muscled contraction in a long fingered hypnotic oak root pointing his way. In a brief uncommon blink the oak tabletop stood beside; felted green from side to side to side to side. Empty it is, concluded Merlyn, but for a solid green ball number 6 directly in front of the far left corner pocket. With no cue ball present his curiosity swept onto the flat green and he merging lightning quick curiosity rose on the far cue mark as a solid yellow 1 ball, equally sized and equally weighted with the nearby solid green.

166 words

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