Notes - birthdays / live openly

         The year according to Earthlings is moving on to a closing in this first month of Winter. You have a couple of birthdays you enjoy remembering, the first is Kym’s, your first Muse’s birthday and the second is your first real friend who was a girl, Sandy’s. Your late father, Richard Bookman Orndorff, also has a birthday coming up this December. – Amorella

         1027 hours. This seems awkwardly phrased, putting Kym and Sandy’s names before my father’s.

         Being that you are alive, as are Kym and Sandy, I placed them first. Is that the problem? – Amorella

         1032 hours. In such context, no, it is not.

         Post. - Amorella

         Dusk. You took no vertigo medicine today and drove (for the first time in a couple of weeks) to Panera for lunch, then Walmart for an errand and on to Tri County where you bought two flannel shirts and a new Fall jacket for Winter use (the first in more than a decade). The salesman was Mickey M. one of your former students at Indian Hill. Last night, his sister, Sarah friended you on FB; a coincidence by any other name, from your perspective. – Amorella

         1753 hours. It was pleasant to drive once again. I had no light-headedness or dizziness in the car. It was fine.

         Almost time for supper, later old man. – Amorella

         1840 hours. Supper will be later. Carol wanted to put up Kim and Paul’s old Christmas tree. It is four to five foot tall with about at three-foot diameter bottom branch range. The small white working lights are built in. My suggestion was to put it in the living room (where it is). I found a usable piano stool with no sitting pad in the basement and a square piece of butcher block we had in our kitchen in the Majken Place bi-level where we lived in Mason from 1975 to 1992. It makes for a very sturdy stand. I put rubber buttons under the legs to better distribute the weight on the carpet. I think it is a fine little tree and Carol is putting up unique ornaments from all over the world where she visited and/or lived. Many were inherited from her parents, a few from her grandparents. I don’t think we have any from my family. Actually I have never thought about it before. Cathy and Gretchen took whatever they wanted when Mom gave stuff away. I asked for nothing but some photographs and an old bookcase and a few of Mom’s books, which I received. Cathy has the old dining room set we had in Minerva Park when we were growing up and she has some things from Grandma Schick’s house. One is a sturdy old rocker that Uncle Clayton used to sit on when he visited Grandma. Good memories, which I get to witness when we visit Cathy and Tod’s house. Carol is pretty much done with her initial display. She always does a good job of tree decoration. She enjoys the seasonal displays. I accept the many and enjoy a special few very much. Spooky our Halloween cat is sitting in the nearby chair watching the lights from within her black coat and through her quite yellow eyes and expanded black pupils. Jadah is nowhere to be seen and is probably sleeping in the warm corner of a chair. (1909)

         You each had snack suppers – a ham cheese rollup for you and nonfat cottage cheese and a fruit cup for Carol. You watched the national news, then a “NCIS”, “NCIS.LA” and a “Modern Family” before turning off the set. You have been thinking on how the Star Wars Force is not like what I, the Amorella, am to you.

         2232 hours. The Force is an instrument of power for the Jedi and the Sith, the light and the dark of the Force. My personal sense of you, Amorella who I long ago once felt you were perhaps an Angel of G---D did not and as you presently, do not, give me a sense of power. Just the opposite – I do not feel the necessity of power. I have no wish for power. I want nothing, really. I am next to nothing, a nothing with a hint, a long possibility, of a capital N in my mind and heart. The Knights of the Force command and use the Force. I cannot even command my own honest heart and mind and soul to come forth without you Amorella. You go no further than my fingertips on the keyboard. You are not like the Force in Star Wars. I have come to that conclusion by myself. – rho (2244)

         You want to tell the fictional story of who you are in the deepest sense of yourself to a pretend Angel if you cannot tell it to a real one, and I am here to keep you honest. Your heartfelt need to leave this planet an honest man is a humble one because it is not possible because you cannot know who you are any more than any other human can know who she or he is. This is a lesson you already know and understand, but sometimes you just have to see the handwriting on the wall, so to speak, and live openly with it. – Post. - Amorella