11 February 2016

Notes - cooking with gas / you don't really care



       Early afternoon on this cold and partly cloudy Winter day. Carol is back from the hairdresser and you had a good soaking bath after one of your five day a week forty minutes exercises (since Christmas). The stats are on Fitbit and your iPhone 6. – Amorella

       1310 hours. This earlier morning the BBC had Science News on the breakthrough on gravity waves. It makes me wonder if the eternal soul transforms into or through gravity waves when it moves from No-where to Here.

       You are having trouble. First, you wrote ‘immortal’ then decided on ‘eternal’; second, you say the soul ‘transforms’ and ‘moves’. That’s not how it works in here. You want to avoid ‘romantic’ thinking, thinking that is embodied with imagination. To change the tone, as used with ‘eternal’ and ‘moves’ in particular, I like a Portuguese word in/on which a soul, (in these books), might float: “Saudade”. We’ll use the article you discovered online the other day.

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“Saudade” – A Word for the Third Culture Kid
07
Tuesday
Feb 2012

Posted by Marilyn in Cross-cultural Adjustment, Life, Third Culture Kid

“Saudade”

It’s described as a unique word with no equivalent in English. It’s origin is Portuguese and it was first used in the 13th Century. It is a longing, a melancholy, a desire for what was. It is “Saudade”.

Many immigrants and refugees search for words that adequately describe the peculiar longing for what they left behind. Not the war and evil that is a relief to escape, but the land, the people, the food – all that encompasses that which is home. Doctors and nurses working with large populations of immigrants and refugees often simply put it down as “depression”.

A health center I know desperately tried to find out through a survey what percentage of their immigrant and refugee patients had depression. The survey was unsuccessful. It did not reflect the narrative that these health care providers were hearing from patients.
One day a woman from Haiti said to them, “Have you ever thought about asking patients if they are homesick.” They looked at her in surprise. No, they had not. With a simple change of a word, they felt they were better able to get to the heart of the feeling. But is it depression? Depression is defined as a “severe despondency and dejection, accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy.” That is not what immigrants are describing.

What they describe are feelings so deep that you can scarcely give words to them. Your throat catches. You experience an intense, but wordless, longing and desire. How do I know this? Because I have experienced it, first hand. What we long to describe is Saudade.

The famous saudade of the Portuguese is a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present, a turning towards the past or towards the future; not an active discontent or poignant sadness but an indolent dreaming wistfulness. A. F. G. Bell In Portugal of 1912.

Many know that they will never go back to the place where they feel most at home. They realistically accept this, but not without saudade. A Portuguese friend of mine recently told me about her father. He is in his nineties and came to the United States with a large family over fifty years ago. A year ago, he went back to Portugal for what everyone thought would be a short trip. Now over a year later, he is still there. All the years he was in the United States, he experienced saudade. He has returned so he no longer has to experience this intense longing; he is back in a place where he is viscerally at home, in a land that he loves.

Third culture kids often struggle to give voice to their longing. Well aware that they are not from the country or countries where they were raised, they still have all the connections and feelings that represent home. When trying to voice these, others look on with glazed eyes. Just recently, someone said to me, “But you’re not an immigrant! You’re American!” The tone was accusing. It was meant to be. What was unsaid was, “Give it a rest! We know you grew up overseas. Big deal. You’re American and you’re living in America.”

Ah, yes… but I have saudade. I have that longing for something that “does not and cannot exist.” I know that it cannot be. And on my good days, it is well hidden under the culture and costume of which I am now living. But on my more difficult days, it struggles to find voice only to find that explaining is too difficult. Finding the word gives voice to these longings.

I have often been looked at with impatience. “Third culture kids are not that different!” says the skeptic. “We all have times of longing,” but I would argue, gently, that our experience is different. We are neither of one world nor the other, but between. Our earliest memories are shaped by sights, sounds, and smells that we now experience only in brief travels or through movies and television. All of those physical elements that shaped our early forays into this world are of another world. And so we experience saudade. And the simple discovery of a word gives meaning to those feelings, and can validate and heal. 

http://communicatingacrossboundariesblogDOTcom/2012/02/07/saudade-a-word-for-the-third-culture-kid/

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       So, to the point, the human soul ‘line of emotional reason’ stems first from what was (the soul’s experience) before entering the human or marsupial or who or what ever. The human soul, upon taking in a human heartanmind has saudade on what it had before which is sometimes misaligned by humans as perfection. Perfection, in here, does not exist as a reality no matter what universe or place one finds one’s self. I, the Amorella, can say here is that the soul is not-empty before it takes on a human heartanmind to protect it more after physical life than during. It longs for the not-empty (before) as well as it learns to experience a similar feeling in human beings as they grow and mature. Emotions have a root in the greater reality of the Before, the Living and the Dead. Emotions are as a designed signature, an image, if you will, that follows soul reflection in the heart’s lens; something throughout and beyond the margins of light and shadows and forms and substance, a design that extends saudade. – Amorella

       1345 hours. I wrote this down in a stumbling hesitation from time to time. My concern is that I am guilty of mistranslation Amorella.

       Emotional design extends saudade. Emotional design induced the ‘Big Bang’ so to speak. Do not attempt to reduce this concept to basic human/marsupial emotions. This particular definition, ‘emotional design’ will make itself known in the books and blog. Post. – Amorella

       1351 hours. I have this sudden desire to come up with better words than ‘emotional design’.

       This is a direct measure of your arrogance, boy. – Amorella

       1353 hours. This opens a much broader can of worms in which I see some humor, both light and dark.


       Now you are cooking with gas, boy. - Amorella

       1654 hours.  We are home from Penn Station, Mike’s Car Wash and Kroger’s. I need to begin with the standard definitions on emotional design.

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emotionaladjective

• arousing and passionate; characterized by intense feeling: an emotional speech [such as a strong-willed as well as reasoned debate on the subject individual and group freedoms within a social community of any size]


designnoun

purpose, planning, or intention that exists or is thought to exist behind an action, fact, or material object: the appearance of design in the universe.

Selected and edited by Amorella from basic Oxford/American software

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       1711 hours. This helps me tremendously. Thank you, Amorella.

       In here the soul has an innate (if you will) purpose to safely hold and carry a heartansoul from harm after physical human/marsupial/other death. As such, by its nature it is a womb-like object by purpose, planning and intention. This is not the soul’s singular nature. The Oversoul [Emerson-like] is as a Choir beyond the scope demonstrated in a Greek tragedy. The setting may also be a comedy or something else altogether. Capiche? – Amorella

       1725 hours. The intent here is for my limited ‘understanding’ not ‘knowledge’ as such?

       Yes. These books and blog are to promote a fictional understanding of the broader and higher conscious sense in human-like condition of “Being”. Existing in a higher human-like state always has a surrounding of Saudade. Amorella

       1733 hours. Uh, this is a bit beyond my capacity to write on even in a fiction. – rho

       Just a ‘bit beyond’ – such arrogance. Plus, deep down you don’t really give a damn, that is, you don’t really care whether you are arrogant or not. Post. - Amorella

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