Notes - a nap / time for bed

        Late afternoon. You had a late lunch at Piada's Street Italian and a Graeter's for dessert. Presently you are sitting in the shade at Rose Hill's far west road facing south while Carol is taking her walk. You talked to your financial consultant  Andy F. for about an hour this morning. Everything is in good shape at present. You are both pleased at your economic situation. - Amorella

       1624 hours. Carol is coming up the road. Later.

       You are home, upstairs, playing with Jadah . . . were playing, as she just left for who knows where. You were internally remarking on the beautiful California cloudless sky. - Amorella

       1654 hours. Most everyone talks to her or himself from time to time.

       What would that kind of dialogue be like, young man? - Amorella

       1655 hours. Just like you and me talking I would think, Amorella. What else would it be? A dialogue?

       Between equals? - Amorella

       1658 hours. I guess it would be if a person were talking to himself and having a keyboard and printer available. We two are not equals though, never have been. Even if you are pure imagination we are not equal because I am real. (1702) Sometimes I get tired of this banter because nothing gets resolved. It's just chatter, like what people usually do, not anything serious. (1705)

       What is something serious? - Amorella

       1706 hours. I need a nap.

       Post. - Amorella

       You awoke to watch NBC and ABC News, then later "The Good Doctor". You shared popcorn during "The Good Doctor". Each episode has been bothersome on a very personal and intimate level. Last night's episode was no exception. First, a bit about the program from Wikipedia. - Amorella

** **

The Good Doctor is an American medical-drama television series, developed by David Shore, based on the 2013 South Korean series of the same name.  The show is produced by Sony Pictures Television and ABC Studios, with Shore serving as show runner. The series began airing on ABC on September 25, 2017.

The series stars Freddie Highmore as Shaun Murphy, a young pediatric surgeon with autism and savant syndrome at San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital. Antonia Thomas, Nicholas Gonzalez, Chuku Modu, Beau Garrett, Hill Harper, Richard Schiff, and Tamlyn Tomita also star in the show. The series received a put pilot commitment at ABC after a previous attempted series did not move forward at CBS Television Studios in 2015; The Good Doctor was ordered to series in May 2017. On October 3, 2017, ABC picked up the series for a full season of 18 episodes.

Selected and edited from Wikipedia

** **

       In each episode at least one autistic event, rolled in your heartansoulanmind with this reaction, 'I understand what is happening in the event on a very personal level because aspects of these events are something I have gone through my own early growing up.' This is frightening on a very basic level. I must have some real autistic symptoms. I do not like to accept this. I am tired of focusing on myself, my writing view is on the human condition, on Homo sapiens, not me. We, most of us, have had mental and physical and spiritual problems in our personal lives. To deny this is completely dishonest. Many people, I feel, don't even know they are dishonest because they don't really look in to observe who they are and who they have been in their living. I'm done for tonight. I am not sorry for expressing my thoughts. So much of living in the world is a 'set up'. Theatre. So much of each of us is theatre. Reality for many is theatre. People don't want to leave the stage and take a look at what's going on. What are these people going to do when they physically die and find they continue in a spiritual form? How are they going to know who they are, or were, without self-study? If we die and endlessly sleep, then I was/am mistaken, but I have no regrets for the lifetime of private study. (2224)

       This is who you are, an enigma to yourself. Why, because you are a human being. You will never let this go. - Amorella

       2230 hours. Never is not a good word choice from my point of view. Perhaps, eventually, I'll let my whole sense of self go, just give it up, let heartansoulanmind move on to be what it will, and  not be what it or I once was. Without a name what would the universe be? Without our species what is the worth of any name, any noun, any person, place, thing or concept?  We give things meaning after we give them names. What does that have to do with 'real' reality? With consciousness? With just being-in-the-moment'? Time for bed.