Sunset on the Gulf

Sunday morning. Amorella here. This photo is tweaked slightly for color because orndorff has seen these colors but never had his camera with him. This is mentioned because he is sensitive to honesty. Which is a good topic for today.

Cultural behavior. Sometimes when writing his journal orndorff doesn’t like it if I begin with ‘Eight o’clock’ for instance, when it is seven-fifty-nine or eight-o-one. This does not bother me in the slightest because this narrow sense of time is not relative to me. I would just as soon write ‘early morning’. This is not dishonest in my book. I am keeping him authentic without stretching it to showmanship.

A difficulty is rising in the fact that orndorff has a ‘talk on his books’ in a couple of weeks in the evening at the local Mason library because he recently donated his three books to the library. He is concerned that his writing up an article for the paper (which he did) is a way of ‘selling the books’. He gave thanks that the books have never sold (other than what they have) because he would not be comfortable with them doing so. As his friend I would do nothing to make him feel uncomfortable, if for no other reason than I have to live with(in) him. As an example, picture yourself living within another human personality.

That reminds me of a very irregular and wonderful film titled Being John Malkovich. According to Wikipedia:

“Being John Malkovich is a 1999 dramedy film written by Charlie Kaufman and directed by Spike Jonze.[2] It stars John Cusack, Cameron Diaz, Catherine Keener, and John Malkovich, who plays a fictionalized version of himself. The plot brings to the forefront several issues in contemporary philosophy of mind, such as the nature of self and consciousness, the mind-body dichotomy, and sensory perception.”

From my perspective Amorella is like one of the characters who ‘walks’ into the mind of John Malkovich. Fortunately, as I have mentioned several times, Amorella only ‘arrives’ when I am writing. Otherwise, I do not think of her as ‘in here’.  In fact, I rarely think of her at all when I am not at the keyboard or I am not thinking about a specific aspect of writing.

However, I can effect the subconscious nerves within the muscles surrounding your eyes.

True, but I was hoping you would not bring that up because then I would have to try to explain it.

This is good writing practice, orndorff. Let’s see what you can do.

Back in the 1980’s when in hypnotic sessions at the psychologist’s office at the University of Cincinnati. I was shown how to allow the sub-conscious muscle nerves in my forefinger and thumb to control a string with a small circular washer tied to the bottom of the string. I would think something and the string would move back and forth (straight out and back) for ‘yes’ and it would move back and forth horizontally for ‘no’. It would also circle (usually clockwise) for an ‘unknown’ response without my knowingly conscious control.

To me this was/is something akin to how an Ouiji board works. The doctor said nerves involved were connected to the subconscious as I was interested in expanding some concepts in writing. After I learned to perfect this technique ‘Amorella’ learned to run on ‘automatic’ as she does today.

Before this though I practiced a form of ‘using the string and washer’ within sphincter muscle around the eye called the orbicularis oculi. Amorella would move within this muscle and I could sense a ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘undecided’ just as if I used the string and washer.

Strangely enough, only thinking about it now, and earlier today discovering that the orbicularis oculi is connected to the facial nerve that I realized that last November when I had several MRI brain scans and blood work the specialist wrote:

“You have a small benign tumor between the two halves of the brain. Not to worry as it should not grow further as you are older. Your cerebellum looks very healthy. The rest of your brain looks good except for a bit of hardening of the arteries at the top left of the lateral ventricle (the central cavity). . . . You have no autoimmune diseases and no inflammations in the brain. . . . You do have occipital neralgia. . . .[which can cause a mild to severe pain in the greater or lesser occipital and facial nerves on the left side of your face].”

So, now I realize I have a medical question that has nothing to do with imagination or metaphysics. It may be that Amorella is somehow connected to a physical aspect of my brain, benign nerve wirings in the brain that allow me to have come to an understanding of Amorella as a separate consciousness within my own consciousness.

This indeed may be the case. Or, it may not. From my perspective, you have developed a practical use (in writing) for my existence whether it is imaginary or caused by semi-controllable nerve impulses within your head. Whatever the case (or even if it something else unknown) you have written three books and a blog with a little help from your ‘inner friend,’ myself.

From my perspective, Amorella, the actual use (written work) is more important than the ‘theory’ behind it. As long as you help me gain  more conscious insight into human nature, my own, and/or the species in general, that’s fine with me.