Up earlier, got the paper, fed the cat, breakfast and the dishes. The driveways are a sheet of ice with a very light coating of snow. Carol is reading the paper and the cat is watching squirrels running the trees. . . . Followed by a short nap.
Just curious, old man, why did you capitalize Elsewhere the last time you used it?
It is a place like Oz in Dorothy’s book.
In other words, a place you cannot imagine yourself.
A little harsh, but true enough. Though I am sure there are places within I would not care to go even in a children’s story.
Late afternoon. Late lunch at Five Guys. You are in the VOA mall lot waiting for Carol who is shopping at Carter’s for Owen and then stopping at Hallmark for a birthday card for Mia, Mary Lou’s granddaughter who will be one. Next week you are up to Westerville for the Class of Sixty social gathering on Thursday and then up to Cleveland for Owen first birthday party on the weekend. Earlier you and Carol shoveled yours and the neighbor’s driveways. Snow is still falling with the grass being quickly covered.
I know you don’t want to consciously see this but "the elsewhere" I left for on the fifth of January is a conjunction. I won’t capitalize it because the connotation of a capital is too much for you to handle.
This reminds me of “the jit” a (physical/metaphysical?) place (in my mind/brain?) an entrance or exit – something you or I made up some twenty years ago. . . . Upon checking I found the last time I used the word in my notes of 11 March 2005.
11 March 05 – Notes (edited for clarity)
[1815 hours] Upon waking from a nap about five, I thought of my Gray’s Anatomy in the basement office. I looked up the ‘Lymphatics of the Upper Extremity’ of the 1977 edited edition from Crown Publishing. The page it begins on (627) has a ‘Figure 339’ which shows the deep cervical lymphatic glands forming a chain along the sheath of the carotid artery and the internal jugular vein. I had marked the page in the books from a 1988 existential-spiritual experience in which I placed “the jit” near this physical location.
The “jit” is the intuitive place (in my head) where the spiritual enters the physical body. It was the intuitive doorway to that existential experience that I had at that time. I had long forgotten this until now [in 2005], while looking up something else.
I kept records of such things thinking they might be of curious importance to me later. What appeared to be real in the 1988 invisible angelic encounter of a first kind, was not. I accept this event today [2005] as a human error on my part. ‘The encounter’ had appeared real enough [in 1988] though that I will not forget [the transcendental/spiritual-like experience]. I think ‘the encounter’ was a self-testing of my internal resolve [of/for defining reality/Reality].
***
Here I am today [2011] thinking of “the jit” in reference to Amorella’s recent elsewhere. Concepts such as this attach themselves to both the intellect and emotional aspects of basic humanity, at least in my case they do. Five years later and I have yet to resolve either that earlier circumstance (on the 1988 experience) or my present circumstance.
Late dusk. You wonder how your mind can be in 1988, 2005 and 2011 at the same time, but this is where you are as far as I can see. Post, then take a break. – Amorella.
After twenty-one hundred hours. “The jit” as you called it in those days was a misnomer, boy. You have most always been plugged into ‘what-reality-really-is’ questioning. Might go back to those early post birth experiences that denied you much ‘human’ interaction. Though you think it is mostly ‘brain-wiring’. In the sixties when drugs were the thing you never could understand what people needed drugs for when your imagination took you further and much more reasonably than popular drugs did. You wanted to keep your brain intact. No hallucinations or visions that you did not have control over. The main reason for seeing a doctor at the University of Cincinnati in the eighties for the hypnosis sessions. You most always feel secure in a university setting. Other like-minded reasonable people around.
The initial existential-spiritual experience of being visited by an ‘angelic’ figure in 1988 was not something you expected and have always rationally assumed it was caused by a slight glitch in the in the left temporal lobe. That’s what you were told after brain scanning in the early eighties. A glitch already existed.
Today, to you, I am as a separate personality for writing purposes only. The angelic concept was an honest mistake. Not knowing what to do with the experience you decided to make something out of it, a novel perhaps, use aliens rather than angels, take it down a few notches. The hypnotic-like event clearly showed itself when you were deeply hypnotize. You then realized just how powerful the human mind really is. It has the ability to create a reality when there isn’t one. Not a real reality, of course, but one that can be personally experienced by you while in the process of writing it (of living it in your head). That is the joy you gain from writing the books.
From your perspective I am the mind’s creation unconsciously born, so to speak. Again, you do not care as long as writing occurs in the process. An eccentric joy causing no harm. You have, as always, nothing to lose and a possible insight into your nature to gain. Hope at the best and nothing at the least. The themes of the Living and the Dead. That’s my take, boy. – Amorella.
I am refreshed after getting this out.
Your honesty is still intact, old man. Consider it a blessing. – Amorella.
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