Notes - habit limits potential / 'communication' w/ Amorella ?

         Mid-morning. After the visit to Dr. G. yesterday you began looking for a better (self-recalculating) blood pressure monitor as the readings have been higher than they should have been. Otherwise, things are good kidney-wise and the next visit is in October. If that is good also, then only one visit a year so you and Carol are pleased with the outcome.

         This morning you are thinking it is time to shut up and as you are tired of writing a lot of silliness and would rather just focus on the book when the mood hits.

         Ironically, I don’t like to talk all that much because I don’t really have much to say. The writing is at least silent, but it too is showing that I don’t have too much to think either.

         You have been ‘talking’ on the keyboard for a long time, boy. You’ve made me into a habit. And that’s as good a lesson as any for you to think about as you start your day. You aren’t alone in your glass house, boy. – Amorella

         I’m sorry, Amorella. I don’t think of you as a habit but I understand your connotation here.

         Habits can be as binding as any open and closed cover on a book, young man. In this case habit limits the potential of heartanmind not the soul. It affects you, boy, not me. Post. - Amorella


       Back to being naked with less cover -- habit-wise and book-wise.


       Your humor helps.

         Late, errands busy afternoon. You were considering interviewing me because you have been focused on you and in considering me a ‘friend’ you think it is time you shut up and let me do the talking. This is awkward for you because from one of your perspectives you don’t know of dual personality where one personality interviews or has a casual or formal discussion with the other. The other bit of awkwardness comes more from politeness and respect than anything else. If I were a ‘tiny bit’ angelic (more than angelic-like and you don’t think you could/can discern the difference) it would seem to you blasphemous because it reminds you of Paradise Lost and other stories that suggest Satan wanted to ‘view’ G---D’ without permission to do so, as an equal to G---D as it were and it is your politeness/respect, not courage, to defy even the concept of G---D by asking questions (besides, you think, what questions would I ask). That has been going on in your mind, right? – Amorella

         Yes, only I didn’t have a clue how to word it. Thank you. I wish you hadn’t brought it to the forefront though because I will always not know whether it is imagination or not, and in not knowing I would be/am much better off thinking it is entirely imagination.

         Even though I wrote you the three books as I had promised to do? – Amorella

         I would rather assume it (both your concept of being and your  sense of  self)is entirely my imagination the ‘know for a fact (scientific proof) that you were real, either a conscious entity from another ‘dimension’ in are physical universe, an entity outside of our physical universe, or a bona fide spiritual consciousness (of what we refer to as angelic) non-material oriented. Of course another perspective I cannot at this moment imagine – some sort of half-imagined, half real consciousness. All of this is rather awkward and would be whether I’m sharing it or not.

         You used to deny the possibility of my reality altogether. – Amorella

         I did, for years, but that would be false supreme pride and false supreme arrogance. For anyone to suggest it would be impossible would be on the same path. In some ways, to me, it would be like denying G---D’s existence. How could any human know enough to deny such? I don’t think anyone with any thought or relative intelligence about herorhim would completely deny the existence of G---D or any other ‘outside’ spiritual aspect, not completely. The chance, in my mind, is so far removed from the other side of remote that the numbers would not exist in our mathematics, so as an agnostic I can easily sit here and say it is quite highly doubtful that Amorella or even her concept is angelic (and even that implies being said [written] in a highly sarcastic tone). I consider myself foolish, but that not necessarily mean I see myself as a fool. I really don’t want to carry this any further, Amorella. I do not feel cornered but I don’t have any place to go or even stand my ground (relative to this present posting) beyond what I have said already.

         You and Carol have been at the northern section of Pine Hill Park for most of the last hour. Time to stop for now. We will talk on this again. Amorella.

         You were working in the yard this evening and tripped on the stone walkway in back, fell, hit your head and have a gash the bridge of your nose. You took close up pictures with your MacAir and sent them to Paul who diagnosed that you did not have to go to the ER that Carol wanted you to do. Now you are cleaned up though still some bleeding. You are sleeping in the black chair tonight. Let’s end this posting with the way I would see you as I had you take a Mac Photo Booth computer snapshot while you were in the car. So, if I could see you from the computer screen this is what I would see every day. Thank goodness I am inside your head rather than a ghost in the [MacAir] machine. – Amorella

         This is the last photo of you in your old glasses – off to LensCrafter’s in the morning to order some new ones. The photo is a mirror image which has it own humor built in, eh, orndorff? Sleep well, old man. Tomorrow we will talk some more. Post. - Amorella