02 April 2015

Notes - more real

         Mid-morning. You had an old fashioned Spring thunderstorm within the hour and found it quite refreshing to listen to. – Amorella

         0908 hours. I always like the drama of thunderstorms. In the very early fifties I remember putting myself about five miles from the front somewhere in Germany listening to the roars and booms of artillery on the front lines, i.e. Battle of the Bulge as a thunderstorm roared through. As a ten year old I was into such things as well as Greek mythology so Zeus and his thunderbolt also played a part. Besides, you could still go to Army surplus stores and buy stuff to heighten the realism of a child’s imagination. I remember Mom was never to keen on me playing war (which we boys did) but it never bothered Dad. Of course he used war surplus stuff for hunting, fishing and camping which I was never really too keen on myself. Today I just listen to the music of the thunder, pellets of ice hitting the windows and deck and the following rain.

         You completed your exercises, forty-five minutes worth. You enjoy counting each or every other stroke. Counting backwards or forwards is a comforting activity, always has been . . . like counting pennies from the wall and putting them in a jar when you were four and five. – Amorella

         I can remember doing this; it was the east wall of the apartment near the front door. I would imagine the pennies and pick them off the wall and drop them into an imaginary jar in front of me; mostly I would do this sitting down, but not always. Mother mostly ignored it but Father found it unsettling to say the least. Only once did I start to take the jar uptown to buy a milk shake at Dew’s Drug Store. I remember crossing West Park to go up Knox and Mother called out asking where I was going. I think I said, “Nowhere,” and turned around. It was sort of a joke on myself I guess. I don’t really remember other than being secretly somewhat embarrassed by the whole incident. Father thought I was crazy. I was also embarrassed that he thought that. I was quite orderly and proper in those days, or at least I tried to be. It was a duty to be orderly and proper because it was a small town and most everyone knew everyone else. (1142)

         That’s a new slant on an old situation. – Amorella

         1142 hours. I am probably making up a story but most of it seems pretty close to the truth in this easy and soft recollectional setting. The warmth is in the counting, that’s why I like to do my exercises.

         Carol is readying to Blue Ash for her teacher luncheon. She cannot drive because of her right leg so you offered to drive her and Anne in the Avalon (which Carol hardly ever drives) and they can sit in the backseat and enjoy the ride and not have to worry about parking. Surprisingly Carol agrees and you get to be chauffer. – Amorella

         You are at McD’s on Montgomery Road across from the Kenwood Towne Centre while the women are eating at Slatt’s on Cooper Road. You have spent most of the time on BBC and filling out a BBC survey. – Amorella

         1346 hours. This place is has too many distractions to think and consider. Time to leave and head for a parking lot near Slatt’s. Carol said to be ready for her call between 1415 and 1430 hours. Time to go.

         You had a bowl mix of ground steak, rice, spaghetti sauce, corn, black beans and pieces of green pepper for supper. Happily, leftovers are available. You watched NBC News, “Broadchurch”, “Mysteries of Laura” and “Bones”.

         2200 hours. Yesterday I stated that the more real consciousness was about an inch in diameter, but that is misleading. It reminds me of the size of a pebble when felt in a shoe. First, this would be at most two-dimensional not three and maybe only one dimension or less, or not a dimension at all. In the first books I have a ghost who is the size of a pea and an alien consciousness that appears not to be there when you are attempting to observe it, a consciousness that is less than half the size of a hydrogen atom (or something to that effect). Perhaps it is a non-substance that ‘acts’ as a consciousness but is not. I am not entirely satisfied that this one inch sized bubble in my head is the heartansoulanmind, that is, a spiritual consciousness. A human being ‘feels’ sheorhe might have a heart and mind because they appear measurable by emotional and reasonable intensity, but the soul may only be an illusion of depth. Now, for the books and blog I am okay with this because one cannot come up with an acceptable scientific definition of all three. A spiritual consciousness relates more with behavior than anything else. It has to do with how one behaves alone, with others, and in relationship to herorhis environment, at least in my mind. I don’t think of it as like gears in an old fashion clock. Yet, in here it has three ‘moveable’ parts. Okay, I’m done. (2221)

         You think that one of the two consciousnesses in your head is more real than the other. – Amorella

         2223 hours. Yes. One is not fully of this world/universe, that is the more real.

         Post. - Amorella

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