Notes - thoughts / I knew better / surviving longer

       Mid-morning. You are facing East under the shade of a tree in the Pine Hill Lakes parking lot near the earthen dam. Carol is on her walk. – Amorella

       0918 hours. The morning is not so quiet. People are about and at ten the Memorial Day parade. Good memories of Kim, in her growing; being a part of the parade most every year from grades one through eight. Complaints in the paper this morning that people don’t recognise this holiday is only for veterans who lost their lives in foreign wars, close to 680,000 in the military. This is about the same amount that lost their lives in the Civil War in the 1860’s. I don’t know why we don’t have a world holiday to honor the Dead period.

       How does one respect the individual dead when you speak of the mass? – Amorella

       0929 hours. I don’t know. Complications.

       Keep it simple, boy. – Amorella

       0931 hours. Honoring Life also has its complications. Whose lives? Criteria for honoring? Respecting life. – Abortion, murder etc. More social complications. Freedom, Justice, Peace.

       Where you were in your head yesterday was not a place of Freedom, Justice, Peace. – Amorella

       0936 hours. Our heartsansoulsanminds complicate our life’s decisions.

       Yet, you said that your heartansoulanmind was in Nothing (a solid) and that, in fact, your heartansoulanmind was as a solid metaphysical piece. – Amorella

       0939 hours. Simply put, that’s the way it was. Freedom, Justice, Peace did not enter into the equation. That was the ‘mystical-like’ environment.

       Mystical-like is the wrong wordage. – Amorella

       0942 hours. You are right, the ‘condition’ was not mystical; it just was. A place of ‘being’, not even capitalized.

       Carol is finishing. Later, orndorff. – Amorella

       Mid-afternoon. It is a warm, partly cloudy summery day. You had Graeter’s first then McD’s for a diet Coke and two Egg McMuffins, a stop at Kroger’s for snacks (cookies and chips) then home. Carol is watering the potted flowers outside. You want to add mulch to the southwest side crab apple tree when the heat dies down.

       1528 hours. Off and on, I continue to think on the ‘conditional experience’ yesterday. It was not a hypnotic induced experience. I just appeared in the three-dimensional field, the block of Nothing-at-All. I don’t remember being ‘centered’ in the block either. I was just there within it. It felt three-dimensional because I felt three-dimensional but I was not. It was as a remnant of being three-dimensional.

       You and Carol have been in pleasant conversation for about an hour now. You did go out and trim around the back of the house. Tim usually gets this every other week but trims the front every time. Grass growth is slowing down which you and Tim are both happy to see.

       1712 hours. I find my brain events interesting and have been writing them down most of my life. They stretch a sense of what reality is as far as I am concerned because the experiences are subjectively real enough to pull a perspective that I would not have had otherwise. This event yesterday is no different from the others in that sense. Basically, what I am thinking is that I might use the descriptions in a scene where human souls exist before they accept heartsanminds.

       Pre-lived souls? – Amorella

       1719 hours. I cannot image a post-lived soul being in such a circumstance.

       You are, as it were, a living soul presently. How would you find yourself again as a pre-soul? – Amorella

       1721 hours. My soul was pulled into a flashback of ‘before’. I don’t know how I could use that but that is my first explanation for use in a fiction.

       What about putting down the fiction business and consider your ‘events’ as you see them as plausible nonfiction? – Amorella

       1723 hours. I cannot accept such events as anything more than fiction. I toy between the metaphysical and the physical, the science. The metaphysical has nothing to do with belief in the sense of religion. To say any of the events were real would be arrogant because I know better.

       Don’t erase. Too good, orndorff. Live with it and post. – Amorella

       1829 hours. I knew better than to think that but I did. Didn’t realize it until I read it. Sad but true. 

       Time for bed after watching two old “X-Files” in a row. Carol is upstairs reading and listening to the television. – Amorella

       2220 hours. You don’t know that. Usually, this is what Carol would be doing, but I don’t know and neither do you.

       This sounds like the young man I know. – Amorella

       2222 hours. It is always best to assume that I am mostly fiction. That’s what I do, because I have no idea really what the most basic truths are that we can know about ourselves. Honesty doesn’t necessarily show we are crazy; it shows that we are inconsistent. I assume this inconsistency allows us to survive longer as individuals and as a species.

       Post. - Amorella