23 May 2016

Notes - wordless / Henry / thinking



       Early afternoon. You change the wording and deleted an extemporaneous paragraph ranting about the meanings of ‘confession’ from yesterday’s blog because you spent part of the morning reading definitions of confession and none fit your particular context. Words can be a great challenge for you and more so as you write your thoughts down. You are forced to think. – Amorella

       1253 hours. Words have context whether I like it or not. Self-honesty is first. Sometimes it is best just to delete a word or paragraph because it is going nowhere, particularly in context with my muse. Some things cannot be fully resolved in this world which is one reason I hope there is a spiritual world (after) in which I can resolve personal matters, particularly in relationship to ‘love’ which I don’t like the definition of because it does not cover the bases so to speak.

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love – noun

1 an intense feeling of deep affection: babies fill parents with intense feelings of love | their love for their country.
• a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone: it was love at first sight | they were both in love with her | we were slowly falling in love.
• (Love)a personified figure of love, often represented as Cupid.
• a great interest and pleasure in something: his love for football | we share a love of music.
• affectionate greetings conveyed to someone on one's behalf.
• a formula for ending an affectionate letter: take care, lots of love, Judy.

2 a person or thing that one loves: she was the love of his life | their two great loves are tobacco and whiskey.
Brit. informal a friendly form of address: it's all right, love.
• (a love) Brit. informal used to express affectionate approval for someone: don't fret, there's a love.

Selected and edited from the Oxford/American software

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       1302 hours. What comes to mind first is G---D. If I were to say, “I love G---D,” where’s the definition of love based on the above or any definition?

       There’s the rub, boy. You do love G---D. – Amorella

       1306 hours. That is the crux of the matter isn't it? You cut right to the chase, Amorella. Now I am wordless.

       Post. - Amorella


       You had a late and leisurely lunch at Smashburgers. You ate outside facing the newish West Chester Hospital in the near distance. The day is sunny and clear and the view was through some foliage at the six-floor structure beyond the parking lot. It reminded you of sitting on a campus in Silicon Valley – like you had been transported there for lunch. Carol agreed when you mentioned it. – Amorella

       1602 hours. This was very cool. Presently I am sitting at Rose Hill Cemetery waiting for Carol to finish her walk – lots of shade with the temperature in the mid-seventies – a beautiful day. I think this cemetery is better kept than Otterbein’s; it is certainly a more spacious layout. Carol’s sister Linda may be coming up in September/October for a week. One of the things she and Carol are going to do is buy gravestones and have them set (except for death date of course). We will probably have one with both our names like her parents have . . . nothing conspicuous. I am always reminded of Henry T’s headstone, it is less than eight and half by eleven inches and only says “Henry”.

       You are having trouble with your Wikipedia Offline. You downloaded it but never tried it until now. – Amorella

       1624 hours. I cannot remember how to spell Henry David T’s [Thoreau] last name. I forgot my phone. Here comes Carol; she’s put at least twenty minutes in – she passes me by saying she has a few more minutes of walk time. I am a terrible speller. I don’t know what I would do without Word or Page software. No doubt this is one of life’s little ironies, a would-be-writer who can’t spell and never could. Carol has her thirty minutes. (1628)

       You are home, post. - Amorella       

      1722 hours. We are sitting in the shade of the front porch. Carol is reading The Patriot Threat and I have been working on my Wikipedia problem. I did not find the same Wikipedia database I had for my Mac Air, but after finding it buried in past purchases on the Apple Store I am downloading the contents once more. Perhaps it no longer works – I bought it in 2012. The English version is being downloaded – the other recent download was in Simple English, mine is just English.

       1731 hours. Now to the earlier appearance of the ‘Elephant in the Room’:

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       There’s the rub, boy. You do love G---D. – Amorella

       1306 hours. That is the crux of the matter. You cut right to the chase, Amorella. Now I am wordless.
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       1734 hours. How can I, an agnostic, honestly state I love G---D? Obviously, I cannot love G---D beyond doubt.

       We return to the point in your life where you chose to make a private and personal stand, and then did so by accepting the possibility not the probability of G---D’s existence and acted according to your conscience, to your humanity, to your heartansoulanmind. Over a period of months you were spiritually tested and passed where it counts most in the most, in the spiritual world, not the physical. – Amorella

       1744 hours. I do not remember having this ‘1987 testing-event’ described as such before, but perhaps it was. This is a very simple explanation Amorella. You entered my notes and I began to focus on the marsupial humanoids as a science fiction trilogy: Stuck, Home and On Earth. I wanted to emulate the Asimov’s original trilogy: Foundation, Foundation and Empire, and Second Foundation.

       You check to see if ‘emulate’ is the correct word. - Amorella

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emulate - verb [ with obj. ]

match or surpass (a person or achievement), typically by imitation: lesser men trying to emulate his greatness.

• imitate: hers is not a hairstyle I wish to emulate.

Selected and edited from the Oxford/American software

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       1759 hours. I did not think on matching or surpassing Asimov or his trilogy (let alone his hundreds of other works) nor did I desire to imitate his content or style. I was not then nor now trying to emulate his greatness. My thought was simply – Asimov wrote a great trilogy and I would like to write a  trilogy too. I wanted it to be a ‘thinking person’s trilogy’. I always enjoyed the times I could see my students actually thinking in class. I was recently to retire so I attempt to do what I attempted to do in class, particularly in my college prep, honors and AP senior English classes. Once I retired I decided on broadening the science fiction to include a past as well as present, mostly because I agree with Einstein that on some level our sense of past, present, and future is not separate. I feel it is we Homo sapiens who separate the divisions by our instinct to survive, to live in the continual present. Even in this concept we develop a possible spiritual continuation so that we might in a sense experience a future – ego at work I suspect. Back to the subject – I do love G---D, not the concept of God, and I honestly call myself an agnostic at the same time. – rho (1818)

       You find it difficult to think on these things without writing your thoughts down. – Amorella

       1820 hour. It is a necessity to write down my thoughts to think on the subject. Which thoughts to write down and which not to write down? I have tried to cover the gamut in these notes and on this blog.

       You are about to head up to bed after watching several shows with Carol and an “X-File” yourself. – Amorella

       2151 hours. I can better accept that it is possible within myself to have a better life  accepting that G---D is, not necessarily that G---D exists. I discern a difference between ‘is’ and ‘existing’ in this context.

       You lose nothing by thinking boy. This is what the brain does. Learning is a human condition not a fact in the usual sense of the word. Post. – Amorella

       2206 hours. One learns things many ways. A new download and Wikipedia Offline is now working. It has been a pretty good day. Time for sleep. Tomorrow work begins on the hall bath if we have our date correct. 

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