Mid-afternoon. You had a good dinner at
Cracker Barrel -- Carol had her trout and you the fried chicken then you drove
to Kenwood looking for First Watch where Carol will be having breakfast in two
weeks. Now you are at Kroger's on Mason-Montgomery Road while Carol buys
essentials like eggs, bananas and maybe cookies. Sister Cathy called to wish
Carol a happy birthday a day early and they talked about Trump and the Pope's
comments and the 'alternative facts' the press secretary put out yesterday on
the size of the crowd. - Amorella
1522 hours. I hit an 'n'
instead of the 'd' -- Freudian slip no doubt. My error.
You could have not mentioned it. - Amorella
1524 hours. That would not
be right. At first I thought I was writing because of the error and not you,
but it makes more sense that you were writing and I was 'translating' as it
were. So, I am cautioned by the incident.
You are home and are going to finish up
Carol's phone so she can have it fully loaded with the numbers she desires.
1558 hours. I think I'll
have over 150 numbers and names when completed. The voice is so much better
than a couple of years ago, true HD. Most cool. It is not so much that she
calls all the numbers but when they ring, the voice announcer says who is
calling before answering. That, plus the one button 'call block' for all those
seemingly endless calls we get, is what she likes. Carol has a few long-time
charities, but her name has been sold over the years to countless others
looking for money.
You had Graeter's for supper. Delicious.
After watching NBC News you both enjoyed
the first two hours of last week's PBS "Victoria". You finished with Carol's
phone and set it up at the kitchen desk. Carol is still placing books in an
order in her bookcase before reading. Spooky is asleep in the living room for
now and Jadah is up with you and Carol momentarily. Time to drop in Chapter
Five and move on for now. - Amorella
** **
FIVE ©2017 SC, rho
Untitled
Yermey sits watching Ship’s vital signs to his left and his
own vital signs to the right. Surmising
the situation, he concludes: One, the left-wingtip-cleansing-of-the-Cessna
shouldn't be a problem as long as Ship agrees, but, why should he? Two, why
does Ship record no change in my bio-registering vitals physically, emotionally
or mentally? I do note a change in my sense of being but I can't place what it
is. Three, I find no evidence that Ship knows I am monitoring and have been
monitoring him this entire trip. Why? Is this a matter for our personal
security?
Yermey’s eyes return to his earth-built laptop where he
reads the personal Facebook page of Pyl Williams-Burroughs. He realizes Pyl is
pretty, and oddly that she appears to be in her mid-three-hundred fifties,
while physically she is a mere thirty-five years old on Earth. Such a lack of
experience these people have. How do we relate this problem in a polite,
non-condescending manner?
Pyl and all the others could live well so much longer if we would
extend our knowledge to the people of Earth. Yermey suddenly feels a slight
stirring at his groin. His small curled male organ quickly rises semi-erect to
the length of an average adult earthworm. His scrotum with two full pea-sized
testes begins aching wretchedly. Yermey mutters, "I have done nothing to
provoke this erection." This uncalled-for- event lasts a terribly long
five minutes.
Ship registers Yermey's eye movements every second Yermey observes
the amenable photos of the fully clothed Pyl Williams-Burroughs on her Facebook
page. His maleness provokes the mind almost aloud, 'Pyl, has breasts on her
chest rather than the natural teats-in-her-pouch. Breasts.’
Yermey has never seen or heard of a male marsupial humanoid
having a partial erection without at least an hour of physical stimulation. The
marsupial humanoid penis is usually 'up and down' in less time than it takes to
say the words aloud.
Ship's response normalizes while Yermey reaches his sense of
centeredness within, 'Ship understands me better than I do.' It takes an
extreme patience of will for Yermey not to perspire. He slowly closes the
laptop and gets up from the chair and pushanpulls his bedinabox-open as his
desk-folds-over-the-laptop and slides quietly under the floor. 'I am almost five
hundred years old and I have this revelation; a sudden attraction for a female
earthling's breasts. Nearly exhausted from physical thoughts he immediately
fell asleep.
Ship being singularly modified for travel through a partially
destabilized dark-matter oriented hyper-string-field, a permanent wormhole,
also senses sensitivities in mind and heart. A marsupial humanoid physically
moved by an alien species, thinks Ship, what can this mean?
Earlier on travel from point A to point B across the Milky
Way galaxy, I was encased in a photon bubble and moving to light speed, becomes
surrounded by a push or pull through dark energy. Bubble infused, I moved.
Settling down below light speed along this hyper-stringed field I awoke from a
dreamless sleep to think on the physical death of machinery. So, rare it used
to be to travel across the galaxy. Now this added dimension. Now the body
marsupial reckons the entire galaxy is but a single marsupial humanoid pouch. I
know better, surmises Ship. We are all in less an electric form than
supposition allows.
Were I, Ship transposes as a thought, a mere conscious spark
in quantum entanglement, I could be in two galaxies at once. The smaller
we become the faster we go. Dark matter eats us for dinner. We go in the
tunnel, and are digested through the great divide of light and
faster-than-light, faster than light and down below, we are eliminated by the
dark; making us here and in Earth’s atmosphere inside of a month of Earth time.
I do feel eaten. Yet it is I who spark the indigestion of who is doing the
eating, the smallest and darkest of matter. Ship considers this and concludes
for the moment: It’s a matter of who
is living off the consciousness of whom. An attention into thought must be
paid.
.
At this moment Yermey awakes wondering. He smiles, I planted
a homing reference beacon pulsating a light greater than four-dimensional light
speed. No one knows this but Ship. We have stabilized a dark mattered
traversable wormhole, a secret highway from Home to Here and no one knows but
the two of us.
Once fully awake Yermey realizes Friendly and Hartolite will
shortly be returning from Put-in-Bay. He smirks, Ship has his orders but I am
the captain here and Ship knows it.
Meanwhile, Ship keeps an
honest and fully updateable bio tracking of Friendly,
Hartolite, the earthlings and Yermey.
Two-dimensional heartanmind tracking will do the trick. If only Yermey
understood what I, Ship, along with H omen-Partner on ThreePlanets, can do.
Soki here, Intent is the real key, be
sheorhe shipped and souled by heartanmind or no. Intent. Who knows one's real
intent? The Soki knows what others do not -- the nakedness, the real
entanglement within the deepest deep in self. The Soki knows the innocence
becoming or not. There is no mystery of any highly conscious heartansoulanmind
for a Betweener such as myself. Innocence and intent can demonstrate the
surreal inside out and outside in. Poetry is a fact in life and death. Science
too, because both are so ordered.
55.8 ease / 9.1 class /
878 words
** **
2217 hours.
At least it looks like I did something. I enjoy this work, this writing
project, but I do not hold the passion I did especially for the original Merlyn
trilogy self-published as it was as a strong second draft not a professionally
written first draft.
Indeed, you had passion for all your
writings. You believed deep down that there was more to them than you knew. -
Amorella
2227 hours. Secret delusions
of grandeur I suppose. I don't really know what that is. Here's what Wikipedia
has to say.
** **
Grandiose delusions (GD), delusions of grandeur, expansive delusions or megalomania are a subtype of delusion that
occur in patients suffering from a wide range of psychiatric diseases , including two-thirds of patients in
manic state of bipolar
disorder, half of those with
schizophrenia, patients with the grandiose subtype of delusional disorder, and
a substantial portion of those with substance abuse
disorders. GDs are characterized by fantastical
beliefs that one is famous, omnipotent,
wealthy, or otherwise very powerful. The delusions are generally fantastic and
typically have a religious, science fictional, or supernatural theme. There is a relative lack of
research into GD, in contrast to persecutory delisions and auditory
hallucinations. About 10% of
healthy people experience grandiose thoughts but do not meet full criteria for
a diagnosis of GD.
Prevalence
Research
suggests that the severity of the delusions of grandeur is directly related to
a higher self-esteem in individuals and inversely related to any individual’s
severity of depression and negative self-evaluations. Lucas et al. found that there is no significant
gender difference in the establishment of grandiose delusion. However, there is
a claim that ‘the particular component of Grandiose delusion’ may be variable
across both genders. Also, it had
been noted that the presence of GDs in people with at least grammar or high
school education was greater than lesser educated persons. Similarly, the
presence of grandiose delusions in individuals who are the eldest is greater .than
in individuals who are the youngest of their siblings
Symptoms
According
to the DSM-IV-TR diagnostic
criteria for delusional disorders, grandiose-type symptoms include grossly
exaggerated beliefs of:
· self-worth
· power
· knowledge
· identity
· exceptional relationship to a divinity or famous person.
For
example, a patient who has fictitious beliefs about his or her power or
authority may believe himself or herself to be a ruling monarch who deserves to
be treated like royalty. There are substantial differences in the degree of
grandiosity linked with grandiose delusions in different patients. Some
patients believe they are God, the Queen of England, a president's son, a
famous rock star, and so on. Others are not as expansive and think they are
skilled sports-persons or great inventors.
Expansive delusions
Expansive
delusions may be maintained by auditory hallucinations, which advise the
patient that they are significant, or confabulations, when, for example, the patient gives
a thorough description of their coronation or
marriage to the king. Grandiose and expansive delusions may also be part of
fantastic hallucinosis in which all forms of hallucinations occur.
Positive functions
Grandiose
delusions frequently serve a very positive function for the person by
sustaining or increasing their self-esteem. As a result, it is important to
consider what the consequences of removing the grandiose delusion are on
self-esteem when trying to modify the grandiose delusion in therapy. In many
instances of grandiosity it is suitable to go for a fractional rather than a
total modification, which permits those elements of the delusion that are
central for self-esteem to be preserved. For example, a woman who believes she
is a senior secret service agent gains a great sense of self-esteem and purpose
from this belief, thus until this sense of self-esteem can be provided from
elsewhere, it is best not to attempt modification.
Causes of delusion
There are
two alternate causes for developing grandiose delusions:
· Delusion-as-defense: defense of the mind against lower
self-esteem and depression.
· Emotion-consistent: result of exaggerated emotions.
Epidemiology
In
researching over 1000 individuals of vast range of backgrounds, Stompe and
colleagues (2006) found that grandiosity remains as the second most common
delusion after persecutory delusions. A
variation in the occurrence of grandiosity delusions in schizophrenic patients
across cultures has also been observed. In
research done by Appelbaum et
al. it has been found that
GDs appeared more commonly in patients with bipolar disorder (59%) than in
patients with schizophrenia (49%), followed by presence in substance misuse
disorder patients (30%) and depressed patients (21%).
A relationship
has been claimed between the age of onset of bipolar disorder and the
occurrence of GDs. According to Carlson et
al. (2000), grandiose
delusions appeared in 74% of the patients who were 21 or younger at the time of
the onset, while they occurred only in 40% of individuals 30 years or older at
the time of the onset.
Diagnosis
Patients
with a wide range of mental disorders which disturb brain function experience
different kinds of delusions,
including grandiose delusions. Grandiose
delusions usually occur in patients with syndromes associated with secondary
mania, such as Huntington's
disease, Parkinson's disease, and Wilson's disease. Secondary mania has also been caused by substances
such as levodopa and isoniazid which
modify the monoaminergic neurotransmitter function. Vitamin B12 deficiency,
uremia, hyperthyroidism as well as the carcinoid syndrome have been found to
cause secondary mania, and thus
grandiose delusions.
In diagnosing
delusions, the MacArthur-Maudsley Assessment of Delusions Schedule is used to
assess the patient.
Comorbidity
Schizophrenia
Schizophrenia
is a mental disorder distinguished by a loss of contact with reality and the
occurrence of psychotic behaviors,
including hallucinations and delusions (unreal beliefs which endure even when
there is contrary evidence). Delusions may include the false and constant idea
that the person is being followed or poisoned, or that the person’s thoughts
are being broadcast for others to listen to. Delusions in schizophrenia often
develop as a response to the individual attempting to explain their
hallucinations. Patients who experience recurrent auditory hallucinations can
develop the delusion that other people are scheming against them and are
dishonest when they say they do not hear the voices that the delusioned person
believes that he or she hears.
Specifically,
grandiose delusions are frequently found predominantly in paranoid
schizophrenia, in which a person has an extremely exaggerated sense of his or
her significance, personality, knowledge, or authority. For example, the person
may possibly declare to own IBM and kindly offer to write a hospital staff
member a check for $5 million if they would only help them escape from the
hospital. Other common grandiose delusions in schizophrenia include religious
delusions such as the belief that one is Jesus Christ.
Bipolar disorder
Bipolar I
disorder can lead to severe affective dysregulation, or mood states that sway
from exceedingly low (depression) to exceptionally high mania. In hypomania or mania, some bipolar
patients can suffer grandiose delusions. In its most severe manifestation, days
without sleep or auditory and other hallucinations and uncontrollable racing
thoughts can reinforce these delusions. In mania, this illness not only affects
emotions but can also lead to impulsivity and disorganized thinking which can
be harnessed to increase their sense of grandiosity. Protecting this delusion
can also lead to extreme irritability, paranoia and fear. Sometimes their
anxiety can be so over-blown that they believe others are jealous of them and,
thus, are undermining their "extraordinary abilities," persecuting
them or even scheming to seize what they already have.
The vast
majority of bipolar patients rarely experience delusions. Typically, when
experiencing or displaying a stage of heightened excitability called mania,
they can experience, joy, rage, a flattened state in which life has no meaning
and sometimes even a mixed state of intense emotions which can cycle out of
control along with thoughts or beliefs that are grandiose in nature. Some of
these grandiose thoughts can be the expressed as strong beliefs that the
patient is very rich or famous or has super-human abilities, or can even lead
to severe suicidal ideations. In
the most severe form, in what was formerly labeled as megalomania, the bipolar
patient may hear voices which support these grandiose beliefs. In their
delusions, they can believe that they are, for example, a king, a creative
genius, or can even exterminate the world's poverty because of their extreme
generosity.
Anatomical aspects
Grandiose
delusions are frequently and almost certainly related to lesions of the frontal
lobe. Temporal lobe lesions have
been mainly reported in patients with delusions of persecution and of remorse, while frontal and
frontotemporal involvement have been described in patients with grandiose
delusions, Cotard's syndrome, and delusional misidentification syndrome.
Treatment
In patients
suffering from schizophrenia, grandiose and religious delusions are found to be
the least susceptible to cognitive behavioral interventions. Cognitive behavioral intervention is a
form of psychological therapy, initially used for depression, but currently used for a variety of
different mental disorders, in hope of providing relief from distress and
disability. During therapy,
grandiose delusions were linked to patients' underlying beliefs by using
inference chaining. Some examples
of interventions performed to improve the patient's state were focus on
specific themes, clarification of neologisms, and thought linkage. During thought linkage, the patient is
asked repeatedly by the therapist to explain his/her jumps in thought from one
subject to a completely different one.
Patients
suffering from mental disorders that experience grandiose delusions have been
found to have a lower risk of having suicidal thoughts
and attempts.
Selected
and edited from Wikipedia
** **
2304 hours. After reading and evaluating the above I can see I do have some symptoms of grandeur.
Feel better now? -
Amorella
2306 hours.
Basically, I feel most human beings experience delusions of one kind or another
during their lifetimes. I think they help us survive one terrible crisis or
another. Well, I think they have helped me survive what I thought was one
terrible crisis or another.
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