04 June 2017

Notes - a taste / wordless / no grammar



       Noon, local time. You have been helping clean the house preparing for Craig and Alta when they return with you from Florida in the latter part of the last week in June. You will be leaving later this week. Jadah is curled asleep on the bed with no sheets as they are being washed. Craig and Alta's bed will be made today. You want to take the cats up to Kim and Paul's tomorrow, but Carol wants to wait. Paul's much younger brother, Peter, has some time off his medical residency at  Wayne State hospital in Detroit, so he will be caring for the three cats, Ellie, Jadah and Spooky. How are you feeling about throwing out your old writings, boy? - Amorella

       1214 hours. I haven't gone down to take anything out of the recycled trash. It doesn't bother like it might have ten years ago. They are full of thoughts, but everybody is full of thoughts -- if they are heartfelt I assume we take them with us, if not who would want them anyway.

       In here, heartfelt is not enough, the thoughts have to be heartansoulanmind felt; heartansoulanmind is one unit, the trinity aspect is secondary when it comes to what you take with you. That's the way it is in Soki's Choice in any case.

       1221 hours. Wow. In fiction anyway that means you don't take much. I'm moving from a suitcase worth of memories down to a single page.

       You appear surprised. - Amorella

       1223 hours. I am. If my notes were my memories I cannot imagine having more than a line of two that might be whittled down  as far as all my writings are concerned. Much that would be gleaned would also ultimately be left behind with the ashes.

       You might be pleasantly surprised with what you would take however. - Amorella

       1229 hours. I suppose. If I'm looking to take a Graeter's sundae with the works I might remember the taste of their plain vanilla.

       But what a memory, eh boy. Post. - Amorella


       1513 hours. You sparked my imagination Amorella. What if you could remember smells, tastes, touches and sounds; no visuals. Wow.

       You are sounding like machinery constantly updating personnel data. - Amorella

       1526 hours. You leave me next to wordless.


       Post. - Amorella



       Kim called. You and Carol are driving the cats up mid-morning, having lunch out with Kim and the boys and starting back about three before Columbus traffic rush. You stopped at PetSmart to buy them new drinking dishes and a new toy mouse diced with catnip for each of the three cats; and a small dish of Graeter's cold pleasure before returning home. - Amorella

       You watched the NBC News and the interview with Putin immediately after. - Amorella

       1936 hours. Vladimir Putin gave Megyn Kelly an interview but not a story, that's my opinion. What did she think he was going to say? The questions were straight forward but rather naive in my mind. The man is obviously intelligent. His responses on her hacker questions put them right back in her lap. My present response here is making me feel uneasy. You set me up to react and I did.

       2002 hours. I am uneasy because I should have sensed  it coming. -- Maybe I did and ignored it. Either way it makes me feel out of sorts. It is a problem Amorella because I understand and trust you as a friend. I'm not saying you would stab me in the back, so to speak, because in all these years I have seen nothing of the kind. Nothing.
      
       And, you won't. - Amorella

       2006 hours. I think watching the interview put me in such a state of thought. The setting was perhaps more intense that I surmised, or I was making it more intense for the sake of drama.

       This is what you used to do when you felt I may be angelic in nature. You would overthink, over debate. This is what you loved about the character of Satan in Paradise Lost. - Amorella

       2010 hours. Not good, Amorella. I cannot think of the author's name, one of the top three or four influential pieces of literature in my entire life.

       You stopped to clean out the cats' litterbox and take it to the street. - Amorella

       2029 hours. Dan Rather and Daniel Defoe come to mind.  John Bunyan and (finally) John Milton. (2031)

       You are upset with your memory because if there was ever a memory that is in your heartansoulanmind it is John Milton. - Amorella

       2041 hours. This is a great personal shock. I should forget my own name before the name of one of the greatest English writers of all time.

       This is how you feel deep down, that you would rather remember the names of the great writers you have taught in your life over your own. 

       This is how I feel; my name, not the names of people I love, family and friends. My name is not important, never has been. I've even forgotten it several times and had to check my driver's license; always at a gathering of some sort. I was dreadfully afraid someone was going to come up and politely ask, "Who are you?" Carol and Kim can attest to this as well as Laney Bender-Slack.

       Post. - Amorella

       2051 hours. This is who I am, Amorella.

       I shall not deny it. - Amorella

       2052 hours. What is this world, this reality my heartansoulanmind finds itself in? That I would give up my name to remember the great in the field of world literature, those I have known and taught? It is a strange world no doubt, but I'll be damned to have it any other way. I have no personal complaints. I am as I am with a name or not and the world is as it is even if I have no grammar. We are all in the same boat. (2056)



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