Late morning. Four men who arrived between nine and ten are putting
white quartz countertops on the black basement cabinets. You are packed with
everything ready to go to the car after the workers complete their job. -
Amorella
1128 hours. Last night I googled "schematics
of heart and soul and mind". None of it was to my liking. Generalizations
with stock images. Basically, it was full of material the physicist were told
to avoid. Religious and/or mythological or Celtic-like images filled the pages.
How is your 'schematic' of heartansoulanmind going to be that much
different than theirs? - Amorella
1139 hours. I am thinking on giving up a conceptual
diagram because I don't know any more or in some cases as much about the
paranormal. I tend to think on the spiritual aspect of being humane (empathy,
kindness, friendship; civilized) being fluid; a kind of waterworks of various
degrees of warm (emotion) and cool (reason) water; most of the time kept in the
three-bears-tolerable zone, with boiling spiritual or freezing, kept in the
survival-if-plausible zone. . . . None of this is really resolvable, nor has it
been. Civilization has come the closest to allow us the space to mature with a
mix of limited freedom within the confines of individual and group
responsibility. We need to continually develop better ways to live as
individuals and smaller groups to live civilized within the greater whole of
humanity. One problem with societies such as our own is that people are free to
accept really no responsibility unless it is for their selfish interests, i.e.
obeying basic traffic rules and/or obeying basic health rules. Even then some
people continue to live irresponsibly and either harm or kill others or themselves
in the process. It is no wonder the world is full of various governments. None
have resolved these problems, that is, the problem in being human. I think we
don't all define 'freedom' the same way. We don't all follow the rules on
definitions or anything else. (1207)
You were ready to post and thought about a title of 'good
Friday' and realized it is 'Good Friday'. The immediate mental flash was a
vision you had many years ago. - Amorella
1322 hours. I don't forget 'visions'. I don't know
how I cannot forget something that was not real. I lack the integrity of words
to describe what was real enough in the moment.
See if you can find the description in the blog. Start with 2009. -
Amorella
1328 hours. This makes me feel ill, Amorella, sick
to my stomach.
Post. - Amorella
Not yet, boy. - Amorella
Before
dusk. You had a good drive home and picked up the mail from the post office.
Kim, Paul and the boys were eating at Cracker Barrel in Berea, Kentucky at the
same time you were eating at Cracker Barrel on Fields Ertel Road. Presently,
you are waiting for Carol outside of Kroger's on Mason-Montgomery Road. You
assume Kim and Paul will arrive after eight. Paul and the boys may choose to
stay and return home in the morning or complete their journey tonight. Bob B.
called and confirmed he'll be at the house at eight in the morning to put in
the hall front entrance light and the light over the dining room table. Kim
will help Carol and you will take her home Easter Sunday. - Amorella
1920 hours. You tug at my heart Amorella. I remember the essence of my
original vision (I really don't know what to call it.) How can an agnostic have
a religious vision?
I
don't remember the scene as religious or even spiritual. It was raw though just
like life is sometimes. - Amorella
1925 hours. My visionary eye captured a whole man half naked with dirty
sweat clinging to the bony shaped skin being wholly crucified. The middle aged
man tied to the single cross in this single scene; his body reacting with slow
non-redeeming spasms and in small unorthodox jerks that appear strong enough to
crack a number of ribs on their spinal jacket. He squirms and muscles tighten as a sharp pain, lightning swiftly crossing from upper left shoulder to lower
right rib leaving a breath of exhaustively dull thunder meeting on the
silence from the unseen witnessing eyes about.
My fingers ache without substance as I
type this. I do not see the man's face. I focus on his wretched and continually
cramping and loosening raw chest. It
seems as his still beating heart within disappears; a heart leaving this world
of his ribs. The man, and he is man wholly with olive tone skin now screaming
inside out in a coat of fate with a button of free will showing. A now heartless man
with more than heart hanging from his seemingly last breath.
The setting is in
a long ago distant, desolate and dry landscape where this human body whole is being
as in electrocution; sobbingly shocking in distress. This sobering event
lasts less than four to five seconds at most, perhaps only as little as two
seconds in real life, whatever that is in this timeless place.
I shall never
forget the naked torso slowly then sharply wriggling on its own like a poor timid
reptile with its head cut off. It is as if the quickness in torture does not
realize it is still a part of the body of the body whole. This magnificent chest
is its own hero, uncommonly protecting the rest of its master's body the best
it can. This empty chest with an unknowable new heart knows no futility; it is
in nothing of any kind and yet has no need of anything more.
I am absorbed by
this nearly invisible rawness where life divides and both parts are still be attached
to the whole of humankind. (2247)
That
is as near the vision was. You gained an empathy with the man on the cross, the
nameless man who is still real enough in your heartansoulanmind. Post. -
Amorella
2250 hours. I feel I am
exhausted, emotionally and rationally exhausted through writing this
piece. I feel I am a free man in need of sleep without a chance to further
dream.
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