Afternoon. You have been running errands
while Carol has been doing laundry. Realtors don't show houses on Sunday and
neither do you. The Avalon has little problems that have suddenly cropped up.
The glove box at the front passenger's seat won't close and the trunk won't
open by pushing the button on the dash. The lug nut key won't work anymore so
you have to get a new one, there is a slight tear in the driver's seat -- all
these things within a week, plus intuition tells you the front tires either
need rotated to the back and vis-versa or you need new tires. Joseph Toyota,
your dealer, has a promotion that would bring new Michelins, identical to what
came with the car, will cost one hundred and twenty-five dollars apiece. The
tires have about eighty-nine thousand on them presently and you have an oil change at ninety
thousand. Amorella
1416 hours. I am wanting to put it off until the oil change. I can't
believe there is a tear or split in the leather upholstery; it is about an inch
long. No doubt my weight doesn't help matters any. Hmm. Shakespeare's
"When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions"
rings up from deep memory, but of course trivia car problems are nothing to
tragic Hamlet losing his love, Ophelia in a suicide, in a drowning. So that is
the wise lesson from unconscious me to conscious me today.
Afternoon.
You stopped at McD's for drinks and
Graeter's for small treats. Tomorrow morning you are to Joseph Toyota to check
out the car, particularly the car seat -- you are hoping they have a repair
kit. Carol's 'key' fit the glove box so at least it can be kept closed until
repairable. You are stopped at Kroger on Tylersville for bananas and K's
crunchy peanut butter then to home. - Amorella
1627 hours. Hmm. The ladies and their little kids come by me heading to
their cars. Tight sweaters or sweat shirts. I immediately sensed I was glancing
at the mothers' variety of breast sizes. It had to be instinct. Shifty
business, instinct. I was not thinking about sex at all. It wasn't sex exactly
- just the simple innate pleasure of seeing breasts walk in women's clothing.
Carnal pleasure, hardly. What I am curious about is how instinct differs from
the unconscious. In this instance it was from a lower place, that is from
somewhere in the brain stem, while the unconscious, at least how a sometimes
key on it from Amorella is higher up -- from mid-brain to lower -- the
cerebellum perhaps.
** **
cerebellum - noun (plural cerebellums or cerebella ) Anatomy - the part of
the brain at the back of the skull in vertebrates.
Its function is to coordinate and regulate muscular
activity.
Selected
and edited from the Oxford/American software.
**
**
**
**
instinct - noun
- an innate, typically fixed pattern of behavior in animals
in response to certain stimuli: birds have an
instinct to build nests | maternal instincts.
a natural or intuitive way of acting or thinking: they
retain their old authoritarian instincts. •
a natural propensity or skill of a specified kind: his instinct
for making the most of his chances.
Selected and edited from the Oxford/American software
** **
1708
hours. The definition of 'instinct' presents an immediate problem. Is a man looking
unconsciously at first at a woman's breasts (1) a typically fixed pattern or (2) is it a natural skill of a
specific kind?
Why does it make a difference, boy? The
definition fits the purpose. - Amorella
1714 hours. I don't like that there are so many definitions. If each
word had on specific meaning people wouldn't get confused. Snow, for instance,
is general; it doesn't tell the kind of snow.
That's what adjectives and adverbs are for.
- Amorella
1717 hours. You are right of course. Still, words can be confusing and
incomplete; it is a wonder we can really communicate at all. 'I love you' or
"I am so sorry' are such examples. I never really know what people really
mean whey they say things sometimes. 'Great?' Is the word sarcasm? You can't
always tell by the tone. What if the person is muttering the word, or half
muttering. It could be sarcasm or it could be a euphemism for 'shit' or 'fuck'.
For instance, when a person utters 'G-D' what does she or he mean? Sometimes I
don't think people have any idea - they just say the word. Even with particular
tone one cannot always make out the meaning. For many people I think G-D is
just a word they use but give no real meaning to it. If so, then using the word
would seem blasphemous. Maybe deep down even in a religious setting the word,
the name, the euphemism is blasphemous. If I were a guardian angel for someone
the words she or he used in or out of a particular context might get the
seemingly religious person in trouble with who she or he really is deep down in
the heart of hearts of a person. It really would be a complex venture, making a
lawyer's work seem easy. People don't really know who they are by normal human
activity in thinking. This concept is a fantasy of course, but deep down I have
always had trouble with it. I don't know anyone else who does but maybe there
are such people. If I put this paragraph in context with what would Socrates think,
or Buddha or Jesus or Lincoln or Trump for instance -- what would a guardian
angel have to do? This whole 'religious' experiencing is very confusing. Then I
spent time looking up original sin and see the communication problems it
instilled. People have died for such considerations, that is they have
sacrificed their lives for religious and nationalistic philosophies they have
never really taken the time to understand other than generally. We define
'democracy' but people are not always literal, perhaps they are hardly ever
literal. People don't really know what other people mean when words alone are
used. Even the writers of words don't always really know what they men when
they write something, i.e. "freedom for all" what does that mean?
Okay, I'm done. Burnt out. No more words.
You obviously needed to say what's on your
mind. - Amorella
1743 hours. Is that all the deeper that thinking is, just my mind. What
about my heart and soul?
What about it? - Amorella
What about anger, boy? You sound like you would rather not be a human
being, you would rather be 'better'. - Amorella
1745
hours. Fuck you, Amorella.
Now, there's your heart speaking, boy. What
do you think of that? - Amorella
1747 hours. I'm not sorry for it.
That's your soul talking now. Now what? -
Amorella
1748 hours. Now I need to shut up. I'm sure there is a lesson in here
for me. Irony of ironies, of course there is.
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