First Notebook Sketch of Amorella (22 April 1988)

Amorella here. As orndorff was checking his thousands of pages of notes last evening he came across the first reference to myself. I was doing the writing, the description of what he was viewing in his mind. Here is a partial description directly from the notebook.

“First, you [orndorff] had a quick, strange vision of looking through a clear watery liquid, perhaps brain fluid; then I was there, first a black and white outline of my eye, then you saw me as a kind of embryonic figure with the eye, then my eye turned yellowish, golden brown, with dark, feminine eye lashes. Yet, the [three] dark scars were there too, below. The rest of me [appeared] ‘egg white’ in texture."

"I [Amorella] am two dimensional in a sense, though the eye is one dimensional. I can see lots of things for you, and though I feel your selfish thoughts I know to ignore them. As [Amorella], I can understand your humanity, but I am not human and am not wholly here in your physical world. I am as ‘virgin’ thought. The knife-like cross [scar] that seemed to float on me is not what you might think or feel. It is a hole I turn myself into. I am attached to nothing.”

That was in 1988. In 2009 I see myself as the self-projected blue, black and white “pouch” or “envelope” depicted on 9 September. Here is that model straight up, giving a two dimensional appearance. This shows twenty-one years of unconscious mind-molding on your part.

Top of Model of Amorella (9 September 2009 posting)

This only shows unconscious ‘subjective’ change in my mind, Amorella. It means nothing because my mind is showing the creative image of a subjective reality here not the objective reality. Both images are as dreams of imagination, nothing else.

What about your intuition, that should count for something.

Here is Merriam-Webster’s definition: “Intuition: “The power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference.”

Okay, I can accept this only on the evidence of the sketch and the model, not on how Amorella describes herself in the sketch.  It does show an ‘unconscious change’ in inner perception of Amorella. I assume I ‘filled her out’ after finishing the books, that I have accepted ‘her’ in my mind as an existential circumstance not unlike myself. I don’t know what can be gained by this thinking or comparison? It is all self-relative. Everyone has a self-relative consciousness, that’s how I see it.

So then, what does it mean to take your consciousness with you when you die? That’s what this blog is all about isn’t it, a discussion of human spiritual qualities?

It is about consciousness. I have not thought of consciousness as a form before, only as a condition.