28 January 2010

Notes & re-editing to Voiced Scenes 1 - 5



         Yesterday you worked your way through the middle of scene four and are feeling better about it.

         It flows better and I am getting into listening to the words really closely, much more so than reading. The problem is my  pre-programmed built in speed reading. I can’t turn it off, but I don’t have that problem listening. What bothers me the most right now is that I realize I should have done this with the first three books, the narratives would flow better and I would have caught more errors before publication. Fortunately I mentioned this in book two, and said that if and when the series is complete I would re-do the first three to make them better.

         You were working on my schedule of a book a year. I wanted them out there because they were your agenda while these last three are my idea. Besides, as I have mentioned, you did not have access to these programs several years ago. You told me you had nothing to do and were willing to work with me. You have your three published as I said you would. So, now it the time to drop the subject and move on. It is a waste of time to debate what you already once debated and accepted.

         I am not debating. I was on my mind, that’s all. I am enjoying this new process and after this first chapter is redone it will be easier to work on the newer ones.

         Before supper and you finished redoing scenes three, four and five. Why don’t you include the edited work in this post to give a sense of what you have done.

Chapter One
(© 2009 Richard H. Orndorff)
Scene 1
Late morning, the first day and unrest exists among the Dead.
“Something needs to be done. The Living do not realize the connection between them and us,” said Thales.
Salaman stood looking out at the endless horizon beyond the stone wall, flowers and trees. I need to watch this man, he thought, we all have our scruples here but top down this Underworld, this Elysium, is an uneasy place. The comfort of the breeze is too considerate of our station. Oh, to be Home where we might rot in the earthly fields and be of some natural use. Our common denominator floats us higher than I was used to in life. It is one thing to accept our present condition, it is another to like it much.
His old friend, Thales piped, “You stand here dour, Salaman. What do you think we should do?”
“We can do nothing about our election, Thales. What is done is done.”
“You are still a fatalist.”
Salaman replied, “The Supervisor know about our impending demonstration. If he doesn’t then Zeus does.”
“Zeus is not the end all be all,” grumbled Salaman.
“Hera will put him in his place,” smirked Thales. “I see her siding with us against Zeus. This is an honorable protest. We only seek to see our children’s grandchildren and show them what we know.”
“At Home even an understanding of how it is here will do,” asserted Salaman. Life had its advantages, but then so does death. We know things.”
“We have one less fear. Without death what can the Supervisor do to us? The gods cannot punish us here.”
“I have heard that was is Zeus’ original command,” noted Salaman. “He can always change his mind.”
Thales grittily replied, “He gave us Free Will and kept some for himself. We are cursed to be surrounded by our own rumors.”
“And we are never given reasons,” added Salaman.

Scene 2
         Kassandra sat at Marios’ side toying with his chest hair. “Who would have ever thought we could be so close here,” she whispered.
         He grinned with his lips closed. She leaned down and kissed his nose. “It is strange,” he said quietly, “how dead we are, and yet we snuggle as one in a common thought.”
         “We deserve our reward,” she replied, “we were faithful in life.”
         “Hope or Temperance, which of the two was more important in life?”
         Her smile seemed to drift within, “Hope is always a stronger virtue than moderation. Besides, we are here. Nothing can harm us from our lovemaking.”
         In more seriousness than she expected, Marios said, “I still have a sense of temperance. I think we should not confront the Supervisor directly. We need a runner to send him a message.”
         Now wide-eyed, Kassandra insisted, “The Supervisor is female, I am sure of it.”
         “Why do you insist this when no one knows?”
         “It could be Hera herself, or Hades’ wife, Persephone. This I know, the Supervisor thinks like a woman.”
         Frowning, he toyed, “How does a woman think differently than a man? Our minds are one in the same.”
         “Only in love, my dear Marios, only in love.”

Scene 3
         You see how it is at the beginning of this old story. Here we are in the twenty-first century and the second rebellion beginning in the middle of the last century continues, how shall I say, “Underground.”
         I am a nameless character like no other. An observer if you will, and as such, the Past is changed just by my arrival, and yours is too, by this reading. Some think of me a true ‘Betweener’ but that isn’t the half of it. After all, how can you have half when you have no idea what full is?
         These resourceful characters you have just met know where they are. Call it Heaven or Hell, Both or Neither. These dead people call it Elysium or the Elysian Fields as they are ancient Greek from the same time of the Storyteller, Homer, about 800 BCE or 2700 years ago. I say about because you really have no idea. You set the arbitrary dates, not me. Human beings seem lordly that way, setting dates like they know the beginning and the end of things.
         The Dead measure Time like water. From their point of view, back some 2700 years ago by modern culture, time was half full. The Dead know things like that, they know when time will fill the bucket. The Living don’t much of a clue but they think they do. Now, let’s move to the fabled Mt. Olympus and see it more from the gods’ point of view.

Scene 4
         Mt. Olympus is a pleasant enough name but the top of a mountain does not do justice for this Place, the size of which is broader and deeper than the known human universe, or even knowable universe, or multiple dimensional crannies holding exotic unnamable universes of built of matter and lack of matter. Humans, dead or alive, have a small vocabulary because, well, they are smaller than they think, infinitely smaller than ego dictates.

This is the Supervisor who rests on the other side of this coming Rebellion of the Dead. I lift the shade here because this is a story that needs to be presently told if indeed Justice is definable in the modern world.
For my part in this book I play the older brother of Zeus, known as Hades in ancient Greek times. I am femaleanmale as are the others up on the old Olympus. Female always first. Gender has little meaning here. Gender is a destiny of sorts, but a changeable one.  Among the Dead it has meaning but it is of little use except in one’s personal identity. One’s birth day is not changeable, and this is true for us gods on the conceptual Olympus too.
Three beginning strategies or positions will be played out in this first revolution; dead humans versus gods. While chess had not yet been invented on Earth, it was a board game played among the Dead. This is a more dangerous and challenging sport, particularly in these allegorical circumstances. If you are not into chess, do not be concerned. This game of strategy is an added dimension representing an inner warfare between the Invisible and the Unperceivable.

The Rebellion in a higher dimensional plane of  Allegorical Chess

The odd numbered moves are always White. The even numbered moves are always Black. Three sequential moves exist per chapter and the ongoing game is perceived by the Dead and the gods unconsciously.

1.   White pawn  moves to square Queen 4
2.   Black pawn  moves  to square Queen's Bishop 3
3.   White pawn  moves to square Queen's Bishop 4

         I prefer the term ‘the Supervisor’ to the proper noun, Hades, because unforeseen complications can arise. This Place, Olympus, is built first on Reason, a noun, also in use as the linking verb: to be.
         I serve as one of several intermediaries for Zeus and beyond. As Marios said a few moments ago, “We need a runner to send him a message.” Today, people use the Internet for communication, but then, the Greeks used runners because the vocabulary culturally understandable.
For those who are thoughtful in a slightly different orientation, think of us lesser gods as fingertips personified and feel your way through the paragraphs. Mainly, we are five. Number One plays my younger brother Zeus. Be careful which digit you make him when finger counting. He gives the birds in here, not the reader. The Dead take responsibility as in life.
Next highest in rank is Athena, a warrior guardian who sprang from the head of Zeus fully mature and in battle armor. Rumor has it she blows the final trumpet through the Dead, but in here Zeus has not made up herorhis mind. In here, rumor daunts the countryside. A drawback with too much imagination and not enough fact.
Some believe in books as if they were a personification of Zeus. Words don’t throw thunderbolts though. And, in here, Zeus is not bound as long as sheanhe has Free Will.
         The third god in this adventure is Apollo, a son of Zeus. Even the god of prophecy is sometimes humanly misunderstood or mistranslated amidst a storm of wishful thinking and self-deception. Apollo’s foreshadowing may be true but sometimes it is misread due to a lack of clear focus. Reality, visible and/or invisible, does not exist in perfection.
         The fourth goddess is Apollo’s twin, Artemis, the huntress of goodness and justice. She is also a great healer of the human psyche. As Artemis enters the Place of the Dead she appears to have four directional faces so she may never lift her own gaze from her father, Zeus as she focuses on the commonplace. I have heard her speak these words more than once, “I provide a horizontal balance for the good of humanity.”
          Appearing old, upright and astute with unflinching eyes is number five, Hera, wife of Zeus, who beacons souls forth by whispering, “I am the other First, the Female. My civilized and greater family finger is Intuition and it is pointed your way in life as well as in death.”
         These are gods and goddess, who are more likely to appear in these stories than the others of this ancient pantheon.

Scene 5
         Shortly below on Fields of Green the four Dead gathered bouquet-like to meet with the One elected among the Dead, the leader of the First Ten Thousand, to stand ready for battle if need be, with others of Olympus and the likes of Me.
***

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