Notes on scene five

         After noon. Sunday readings in a lazy morning spent watching the cat slowly losing her morning living room sun set for her basking. Carol is finishing up the paper and you assume something will be done this afternoon.

         I woke up with a sense of ‘something’ for scene five but I forgot all but this: Ezekiel feels he lost something I have no idea what. He should have watched the sunrise, that’s what I think, instead he was waxing for Israel, which of course makes sense.

         Perhaps that is the simple conflict, orndorff. He was thinking of where he had been not recognizing the sun comes up in Babylon too. He did miss his potentially last sunrise and who knows when he saw his last. Now he awakes to a dawn with no sun. Natural sunlight does not exist in the Places of the Dead in these books. The heartansoulanmind must create its own circumstance just as the Living must breathe. First, however, the heartansoulanmind must find a way to coexist. You are thinking of Caesar’s “Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres,” and wonder if one’s personal self-identity is also divided thusly.

         I think it is not so easy to find a place where the three can peacefully coexist. Human beings are constantly debating – particularly their hearts and minds, their feelings and reasoning. Drama is full of it. Sleeping with one’s soul may not be an easy task either. Compromises have to be made. I would think even one’s culture would have to be compromised. Self-forgiveness would have to be in order. One would have to be driven to the utmost sense of humility. Acceptance of such a fact of life/death would be a hard blow to the ego. And, then to rebuild one’s self to a full measure of a shadowed self recognizable with one’s given personality and inward nature, first to friends and family . . . what would be left to rebuild on a base of such utter humility? I cannot imagine such a scene. It would take a disciplined Caesar in each to conquer such an internal event.

         What? No judgment? No Wrath of G---D?

         I reason this reconstruction would come first. I would think one would have to know who sheorhe is before meeting the substance of Angels (should they exist) let alone G---D. The only way to gain a broader reflection of ‘self left over’ would be by friends and family, or so it seems to me. I don’t like the ‘only’ – I assume there may be a multitude of ways to the rediscovery of one’s nature depending on the centeredness of the individual and herorhis friends who as talismans help nurture the bodiless to restructure and re-grow a backbone of self-identity one can live with under such existential conditions.

         How to show this in a single scene, orndorff?

         It cannot be done, Amorella.

         Post, boy. – Amorella.