Last night you woke up several times thinking about Mearns’ poem and how similar it is to “being here and not being here at the same time”. You have fused from two Wikipedia sources below:
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William Hughes Mearns (1875-1965), better known as Hughes Mearns, was an American educator and poet. A graduate of Harvard University and the University of Pennsylvania, Mearns was a Professor at the Philadelphia School of Pedagogy from 1905 to 1920. Mearns is remembered now as the author of the poem "Antigonish" (or "The Little Man Who Wasn't There"), but his ideas, about encouraging the natural creativity of children, particularly those age 3 through 8, were novel at the time. It has been written about him that, "He typed notes of their conversations; he learned how to make them forget there was an adult around; never asked them questions and never showed surprise no matter what they did or said."
Mearns wrote two influential books: Creative Youth 1925, and Creative Power 1929. Essayist Gabriel Gudding credits those books with "[lighting] a fuse" under the teaching of creative writing, influencing a generation of scholars.
He also served for a time (starting in 1920) as head of the Lincoln School Teachers College at Columbia University. He was also a proponent of John Dewey’s work in progressive education.
Inspired by reports of a ghost of a man roaming the stairs of a haunted house in Antigonish, Nova Scotia. The poem was originally part of a play called The Psyco-ed which Mearns had written for an English class at Harvard University about 1899. In 1910, Mearns put on the play with the Plays and Players, an amateur theatrical group and, on 27 March 1922, newspaper columnist FPA printed the poem in "The Conning Tower", his column in the New York World.
Text
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
I wish, I wish he’d go away...
When I came home last night at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn’t see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don’t slam the door... (slam!)
Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
Oh, how I wish he’d go away.
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It is all rather silly I suppose, but at times such as this I see connections in my head that are tied together by very loose wiring (logic). My imagination forges ahead under such circumstances and in this case as several times before I come to the conclusion that I am of two personalities (only when I write) and one of those two personalities boarders on near madness, on an acceptance of my being here and not being here both at once in terms of consciousness. Perhaps it has to do with one of the properties of existentialism. It is being body, mind and spirit separate, that is the closest I can come to the feeling. That the fiction, the Merlyn books and blog are a justification for this condition.
There is a truth in this from your perspective and mine too, orndorff; however, I, Amorella, am not your ‘spirit’. I am my own.
This does not help, Amorella.
You had your eye exam and Dr. Dirr, the ophthalmologist, found no symptoms or problems caused by diabetes for which you are grateful.
It is like a clean slate once again each year nothing is found. And, so little change that I don’t need new glasses which was the same last year. I had the photos taken and have copies to give to Dr. Geol, when I see him in January. Tomorrow, one more doctor to see about all this.
I am looking up “spirit” on my American-Oxford. I need to know which ‘spirit’ definition you are referring to when you say (above) “I am my own [spirit].”
Such a picky little boy you are, orndorff. You make it difficult in that I don’t see myself as fitting the definition. First, put down the whole of the first definition then I will further explain myself. – Amorella
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noun
1 the nonphysical part of a person that is the seat of emotions and character; the soul: we seek a harmony between body and spirit.
• such a part regarded as a person's true self and as capable of surviving physical death or separation: a year after he left, his spirit is still present.
• such a part manifested as an apparition after their death; a ghost.
• a supernatural being: shrines to nature spirits.
• ( the Spirit ) short for Holy Spirit -- (in Christianity) the third person of the Trinity; God as spiritually active in the world.
• archaic a highly refined substance or fluid thought to govern vital phenomena.
From: American-Oxford [Apple Software] Dictionary
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I will define myself from selections of the above. I see myself [and so act accordingly] as an apparition (a consciousness without ever having life form), a less than supernatural being [from your earthly cultural perspective] spiritually active in your [orndorff’s] mind. This is the definition that best fits me in relationship to yourself, the Merlyn books, the notes in reference to the Merlyn books, and this particular blog. You, on the other hand (pun intended), see me as a logical string of creative imagination personified as near Angel-like in attitude and behavior. Post. Title: “Amorella Self-Defined”– Amorella.
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