Early
afternoon. You had lunch at Smashburgers and Carol is at Kroger’s on
Tylersville buying ingredients for Alta’s famous turkey soup. You did your
forty minutes of exercises, always without a stop and this afternoon you are
going with Carol over to the community center to pick up your Silver Slippers
free membership while Carol attempts her walk and which you will do a few laps
yourself, or hope to. Earlier you were thinking about what was most important
in terms of your Angelic communication. – Amorella
1337
hours. It is not really communication. I don’t really ask anything. The
important aspect to me is that I am allowed to exist consciously knowing this
angelic-like presence is nearby. It is a matter of acceptance that this is
possible. I used to think rather arrogantly I suppose that it would be
impossible because of all my psychological warts, so to speak; it was very
difficult to overcome this because to do so I am in a state of ‘absolute’
humility. I had to train my mind and a stubborn heart for this because I am quite
independent, defiantly so, heart-wise. Angel or no, Presence or no, there is no
attempt to run and hide from such a perceived Presence. If there is a doubt at
all, and there usually is, I stand my ground (heartansoulanmind) and confront
myself in this way. In a sense the Presence at that moment is as a mirror
reflection of myself that I must accept in order to stand in respect for myself
as a human being and in respect for a ‘Being that chooses to remain mostly
powerless so that I might stand with dignity as a human being nothing, nothing
less. Early on, in defiance I would set up and run with the argument that none
of this was even possible. When this happened my right arm was struck as with
an electrical pulse from within and there was enough pain to know this was
real. It was not like I was being struck by lightning from Zeus – it was a
reminder of where I was in my head and to realize this I had to grow up and
accept this. I had lessons to learn and I have learned them. The physical body
works its own lessons. This is most likely psychosomatic but it was always the
same. I would then, back away from the nearby Presence around me and within.
(This is a lesson in itself.) Intuitively, I would ‘know’ when I had crossed
the line into normalcy. A Being that is from this human’s perspective
all-powerful need not show any. I respect and admire this as a conditional that
I am allowed to witness. I don’t think ‘power’ is the right word because it is
a human word and this Presence is not human and it may not be G---D, but it is
in my heartansoulanmind at the moment an Angel of G---D. (1337)
You
joined the Mason Community Center and walked from the car to the track and two
laps on the track and back to the car. Carol got four laps in because you had
to register. – Amorella
1512
hours. I don’t know how much time that took but I’m counting from the car and
back to the car as well as laps because it is all walking. I had to use my cane
so I’m glad I took it. I had to sit and rest after each lap. Each lap on the
indoor track is one/ninth of a mile. Not much. My goal is three laps for the
present. I’ll be satisfied. Actually, it is easier to do this on the treadmill
at home. My knees and toes hurt from the arthritis. Then again, it might be the
weather. Maybe my walking shoes are too tight. We have the windows open and I’m
upstairs in the bedroom with the fan on a stand on high and the ceiling fan on
low. I think Carol is looking at the progression of her flowers. Spring is what
it is. I saw a new Popular Science arrived today and a few of days ago I
received a new Discover so I have something to read. I like the varying
dimensions and styles of both magazines. My right big toe is definitely
swollen. No doubt I need to loosen the strings on the shoes.
Post with "Presence" as the title. - Amorella
You
are sitting on the shaded front porch as the recycle fellow is picking up the
material – Amorella
Irony has your tongue, boy, and holds the
mind shut. - Amorella
1607
hours. I walked out to say hello and to wish him a good day. We have talked a
few times, short conversations, but he seemed to like the fact that I had been
on the garbage crew back in the sixties and had an inkling of what his days are
like on the truck. He is articulate and a clean-cut young man who once said to
me that at Rumpke everyone starts on the truck. I always like these people.
They do a good community service that is what was instilled into me at an early
age. There is dignity and validity in all such services. He seems happy to know
we are kindred spirits in how life is. Everyone starts herorhis working life
somewhere I have great respect for all such people who work in community and
world humanitarian services.
You are thinking on how it would be better
if human beings worked in local and cultural regions rather than in
nationalistic regions, are you not? – Amorella
1629
hours. It is just a thought and a not very well thought out one at that because
of the sway religions control culture as much as national politics do. I can’t
deny the thoughts but I am embedded in my own personal cultural history just is
everyone else is. It is enough to hope people can learn to survive well enough
for their children to grow to fit their own given potential. I still think like
a teacher in terms of children’s interests even if I am no longer employed as
one. Many always seem to need an enemy to better know who they are. From my
perspective, you don’t need an enemy; you need a good Angel looking at you
directly. That will sober anyone up more than any enemy or even death will as
far as I am concerned.
Now you are talking, boy. – Post. – Amorella
1641
hours. I don’t mean to be. Things come to my head and I write them, being
sobered by an Angel is one of the truest statements I have ever made . . . here
I stand before G---D if need be. – rho
No arrogance and no malice. A statement as
given to a high court of reason and law. No warts here, boy. - Amorella
1646
hours. I did not think about this but in a ‘court’ between heartansoulanmind
and an Angel arrogance and malice will not stand as far as I can see. One is
what one is and she or he better damn well be ready to keep standing.
There’s the passion and the defiance. Your
heart and soul are talking here. Post, boy. – Amorella
1651
hours. This is odd, my mind just shuts up.
1657 hours. This has been a very odd, somewhat surreal conversation, but I'll post it.
You had an excellent Papa John’s pizza for
supper and saw Homer, the manager among other regular crew. He asked about the
National Geographic Geno 2 Project on your FB page so you hope he’s interested
in having his own DNA done. After pizza you watched last night’s “Masterpiece
Classic” and “Madam Secretary” both good programs from your and Carol’s
perspective. – Amorella
2124
hours. Do I have enough to build a case for the top three in terms of what;
standing face to face, as it were, with an angelic-like Presence?
You have enough. – Amorella
I
will make a list of three that appear most important to me.
As you will. – Amorella
2157
hours. In no order:
Upon witnessing an Angelic Presence, perceived or otherwise:
Recognise that you are who you are down to the bottom of
your heartansoulanmind and to stand with dignity as a human being, nothing
more, nothing less. Be damn well ready to stand.
Respect and accept life for what it is; and by the same
token respect that the Angel is what it is; and that it might be an Angel of
G---D at any instant. No pretending. No falseness accepted; let all thoughts go
concentrate on being what one is when no thoughts only consciousness exists.
Let the world go. The world is in its place; this place is not of the world and
you are as a momentary guest – polite respect but honest to the core; no
arrogance or malice – a being without body, heartansoulanmind only as clear as
your imperfect glass will allow. Do not think to apologize for being human. Accept
your humanity with dignity; respect the Angel in its Being. The Angel ‘knows’
you better than you do yourself. Accept any failing that rise from
heartansoulanmind and then let them go in peace. The Angel comes to you not the
other way around. With only heartansoulanmind the nakedness is overwhelming. It
is as the Angel is or you are. Distance is understood and accepted as a natural
fact. This is a natural experience. The spiritual ‘light’ if you will, shows
the reality of your seeming lack of existence because the Angelic light shines
through you as though you are not there, in fact you are there and not there at
the same time. Nothing can be done about this. It is a rule of being both of
Nature and Beyond both at once, that is how I see it. (2224)
You have enough to make your choices from
this above paragraph. All for tonight, orndorff. – Post.
2225
hours. I hardly know what I wrote.
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