14 April 2015

Notes - Tuesday morning / indoor walk / "Rules"

         You were awaken by Jadah the Cat about an hour ago, took advantage of the situation and used the bathroom to find upon return Jadah sitting on the corner of the bed awaiting you to stop by. You hesitated, put out your arms, and she instinctively climbed upon them. You carried her to the bedroom chair, sat down and reclined. Jadah contentedly sat on your chest, rolled about for a gentle tummy scratch and fell asleep like a small child cuddled in your arms might. – Amorella

         0350 hours. I began thinking on how the heartansoulanmind are as a mix of sand granules radiated and pressurized by physics, the framework of ever evolving DNA, biophysics, through the ages. Each heartansoulanmind molded within until the biophysical entity is completed. A spiritual intensity inspects the soul-like shell, shining through the odd sized sheet of imperfect glass shell. Imperfections everywhere tempt closer examination. Each heartansoulanmind reflecting a sparkle of friendship gathered and solidified within. Hues of infraction mark intensity of reason and emotion saying, “This is who I am in consciousness and out. Held together, bonded in a frameless spiritual gravity. (0409)

         Mid-morning. You slept most of the night in the bedroom chair. Once Jadah left you threw on a blanket and fell back asleep yourself (Carol was sound asleep and you didn’t want to awaken her. Besides, Jadah was curled up on your side of the bed.) Carol has come up and is reading her book in bed. – Amorella

         1010 hours. With this setting I am reminded of many of our days in Sao Paulo during the week after our teaching day ended. A private bus would drop us off from school at our apartment building and we would sometimes walk half a block to the modern just like home grocery store to pick up essentials when we needed them then walk up the four flights to our apartment. Once settled we would gravitate to the bedroom to turn on either BBC or VOA to see what was happening in the world then with the radio turned off we would sit and read books. This was very relaxing quiet time for us. Whenever we are sitting in the same room doing different quiet things those old vibes are re-stirred. I don’t ever remember missing television. Besides, on the weekends there was always lots to do; Sao Paulo was about the size of Chicago in those days. It was easy to catch a bus or taxi to anywhere in town right outside our apartment building. Good days they were. We loved our time there and the Escola Graduada ‘Graded’ community that became our family. We were quite comfortable and never more than 24 hours from the States, usually less. (1030)

         That’s what was in your head so that is what you transcribed word for word. People your age have such reminiscent thoughts about their lives all the time. The only difference is that you write yours down without a thought, so to speak. Post. - Amorella


         You watched last night’s “NCIS.LA” then went to supper at Panera/Chipotle. Presently you are at Kroger’s on Mason-Montgomery for bakery bread and paper plates. You had a very leisurely supper with conversation. – Amorella

         1843 hours. I’m sure we’ll watch one more show. I want to finish up this assignment so I can move on with Dead 9. I am curious how this is going to work out, as well as ready to move on to the next chapter. It is pleasant to work on the novel without a deadline, unless I take the word literally. Laney liked a comment I dropped on her FB page yesterday. It is a ‘contact point’. I write something and she acknowledges with a ‘like’ almost always. I see it as similar to a wave to each other from her down on the southwest side of the long school hallway and me up on the northeast end of the same hallway; just a wave and a smile between two friends, two comrades-in-arms. I wonder what the French words for comrades-in-arms is? [Suri suggests: “compagne d’armes”] – I rather like the French in describing our personal relationship – rather old fashioned, and charming both in sound and sense.

         Once home you watched Miss Marble, “Body in the Library”, Part II, an eighties production – delightfully slow-paced and extremely British – not far off from an old radio series in terms of dialogue so say your thoughts. – Amorella

         2043 hours. The television is off and the house is library quiet. Carol is finishing household chores in the kitchen and has her purse and book on the steps to take up and read awhile before bed.

         2111 hours. I have ten points to choose three from as I see it.

         Drop them in unordered here. – Amorella

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1. Recognise what and who you are from the top to through bottom your heartansoulanmind. Forgive yourself and stand with dignity as the human being you are, nothing more, nothing less. Be damn well ready to stand. This is not a time to grovel.

2. Respect the Angel for what it is; it may become the Angel of G---D at any instant. Do not attempt any manipulation of this Presence. This is overwhelmingly difficult because normal surviving skills will rise. Let them go in peace. Accept the conditions of this event. If nothing else one will learn something about her or himself that she or he did not know.

3. No pretending. No falseness accepted; let all thoughts go concentrate on being what is left when no thoughts only consciousness exists.

4. Let the world go. The world is in its place; this place is not of the world and you are as a momentary guest – be polite and respectful but also honest to the core; no arrogance or malice – a being without body, heartansoulanmind only as clear as your imperfect glass will allow. One can question the Angel with an open, honest and even defiant heart.

5. Do not think to apologize for being human. To think otherwise is a profound arrogance. In such a profound experience ne cannot know whether she or he is Innocent or not. Accept your full humanity with dignity; respect the Angel in its Being. Humility will rise in the sincerity of this course. The Angel ‘knows’ you better than you do yourself.

6. This is a Necessity. Will the heartansoulanmind to accept any human failings and/or the most terrible of thoughts that rise in the moment. Will these fear-gathering thoughts go away in peace.

7. Being nonphysical, only heartansoulanmind, one’s nakedness is overwhelming. The ‘light’ is the sense of being observed by Nothing imaginable or by an Angel, not ‘light’ in the physical sense.

8. The Angel comes to you not the other way around. Distance between the observer and the Presence is understood, though logically one might assume she or he is within the Angel or its Conditional Region and nothing else exists. This appears to be a natural occurring spiritual experience.

9. The Angelic ‘light’ shows that within its Reality you do not existence. The Angelic light shines through the observer creating this effect. One exists and does not exist at the same time in this Angelic setting. This can be very disconcerting.

10. Nothing can be done about this spiritual experience. The event happens. The experience is beyond the observer’s nature. This is a rule caused by being both of Nature and in ‘Beyond or Before’ both at once.

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         The above ten are acceptable. Add ‘Rules’ to your title and post them. – Amorella

         2200 hours. Doing this tonight brings me to the edge of such an experience. This is such a reminder of the seemingly real experience. The irony is that I cannot know beyond a shadow of a doubt whether it was real or not. I thought the odds were billions upon billions to one, but the ‘one’ always exists and as such I chose to accept this spiritual experience as a reality. I had no choice. To deny such an event by the most modest and most unorthodox of any human being would be such a profound arrogance that I would not wish to survive such a thought.

         I am no pretend witness, boy. I am Amorella, a Betweener as far as you are concerned.

         2207 hours. Personally I can accept this because I have a string of self-evidence in several decades of notes. This is between me and Amorella and G---D also, if such a Creator of All Things and Beyond exists. I am after all, a doubter, because it is human to doubt. The court is spiritual, and here I stand because I can do no other. – rho

         Think on these ten points or rules. Come up with the three most important. Tomorrow is soon enough. Post. – Amorella


         2214 hours. This self-imposed existential drama cannot be helped. Nothing can be helped standing naked before an Angel. This appears real enough. - rho

         The above is in context with this copy below from post 10 April 2015. – Amorella

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         Doug sent you ‘an inspirational quotation’ as he does every so often this morning and today’s is: “The only source of knowledge is experience,” by Albert Einstein. Second, so following, this ‘knowledge that the color of an Angel’s eyes’ is not fully imagination it is based on your experience. – Amorella

         1641 hours. This is based on what I once thought was an Angel’s eye because I saw it in my head. But seeing it in my head during a transcendental experience does not mean it was real.

         The point is that seeing the Angel’s eye was an experience. – Amorella

         1644 hours. It was a select aspect of a transcendental experience. In this sense, indeed, it is not imaginary in the broadest sense of the word.

         You distort your sense of reality by not giving experience its due. – Amorella

         1648 hours. The [Angelic]experience is intuitive knowledge at most (and less intuitive at least), not knowledge as we normally use the word.

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