18 August 2016

Notes - fun thought / less confusion



       Later in the morning. Jadah woke you wanted the window shade open for the sun. After breakfast with Carol (with both reading the paper) you had a nap then a soak bath. Carol informed you of errands needing to be done today. Such is your start. Last night you listened to Bluegrass/mountain music before drifting to sleep. – Amorella

       1041 hours. I like mountain music, I think better than the blues (at least presently). I get tired of words running through my head – herds of words. Then I like music without any words at all, no human sounds. Being human is sometimes just too much, lesser animals too easy to emulate, then, music without words is liberating to the soul, let the heartanmind rest, slumber away – it is like riding on the back of the soul – reminds me of riding on the back of a sandworm in Dune. Riding on the back of one’s soul is like that only better I would imagine. – This is a surprise, I don’t ever imagine riding on a soulshell before. If I did, I don’t remember it. How would that really be – to ride on a soulshell? (1053)

       First, boy, where would you be? Your heartanmind securely inside the soul where it is supposed to be, how could you be outside the soul too? – Amorella

       1054 hours. I would be in my imagination, a dream, so to speak, of being outside the soul.

       What would you see or hear in this imaginary liberating event? You would have to have a reaction of some sort or it wouldn’t be remembered even in imagination. - Amorella

       1056 hours. Good question. I like the concept of not considering the reality of the concept better. I have to immerse myself in the concept first – riding on the back of one’s own soulshell with heartanmind restfully asleep inside.

       Why don’t you drop that on your Facebook page and see what happens? – Amorella

       1101 hours. Why not . . . sounds like fun.

       Post. - Amorella

       After dusk. You watched NBC and ABC News and this week’s “Major Crimes” as well as a bit of the Olympics. You are unsettled by something Doug wrote today – the focus was on Republican politics and Trump and his new campaign boss Steve Bannon. Doug commented, “You have to be careful who you dance with,” in reference to Trump. You thought of yourself and me, the Amorella. Personal warning flags immediately popped. That’s the event smoldering presently. – Amorella

       2116 hours. Doubts are always present. How else do I protect myself from perceived reality, reality and imagination? I am a skeptic as well as a cynic. I am glad you bring this up because I need to have this out in the open (consciousness) where it can be dealt with. The doubts never have gone completely away. I doubted my teaching abilities until I retired. Now it doesn’t make any difference. I’ll have doubts about Amorella until I’m dead, then it won’t make any difference. I can live with it. What is important is how my heart feels about it. I have less doubt with my heart than I do my mind. Oddly enough, my soul, from the way I intuitively read it (intuitively I sense the soul as female) presently, isn’t much concerned either way, that is, whether I have my doubts about Amorella or not. (2127)

       Thus this particular doubt business is over and done, buried away for the time being. – Amorella

       2129 hours. I feel better having thought this out where I can read it -- less confusion.

       Post. - Amorella

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