06 November 2017

Notes - break time / save it



      You aren't physically feeling so well internally and are not sure what to do about it. - Amorella

       1520 hours. Mostly I'm tired. Carol washed clothes this morning. I took a bath with bubbles, refreshed with clean clothes then took a nap with Jadah on my lap. An errand to the bank and a drive to Lebanon to vote early but we were ten minutes late because they closed at two o'clock. Back towards Mason and lunch at Chipotle/Panera and now we are stopped at Kroger's on Tylersville and Cox for a few groceries, mostly milk and bananas. I think I ought to take one of those tests to see if I have early dementia or something else of that ilk.

       This is pronounced by watching CBS News this morning and a focus on dementia. The doctor interviewed said they can do a lot to help such people if it is caught early enough. This caught your interest. - Amorella

       1533 hours. I like to be in control of my life as much as possible. I've always had memory problems but old age is catching up with me rather quickly of late and I just want to be ready come what may.

       Tomorrow you go for physical therapy perhaps you'll feel better after. - Amorella

       1537 hours. On "Sixty Minutes" we watched a young girl, eleven or twelve, who creates lots of music, a true child prodigy -- wonderful to see and listen to. She said different characters in her head create different kinds of music and gave examples. As I have characters in my head too, it made me feel better to know I am not alone. Characters in my head have multiple meanings, all true. (1541)
      
       You are home. Your specific problem presently is that you feel have no talent. This is true from your perspective because you have no useful talent, that is, you no longer feel you contribute to society. - Amorella

       1609 hours. You make me sheepishly smile because you really don't mix any words. Right to the point. Basically, I feel tired and somewhat worn out these days and even if I could contribute to society I'm physically too old. Sitting around 'enjoying' what's left of my life seems a bit much. I'm not owed a living -- talk about arrogance -- to think anyone is owed a living seems almost blasphemous.

       Children are owed a living, they have the right to grow up first, don't you think? - Amorella

       1624 hours. Tell that to the dinosaurs, Amorella. The real world is indifferent to life, that is, life when it exists, has to adapt to stay alive.

       Adults have to adapt to keep their children alive and flourishing for the species to move on. Homo sapiens have moved on, mostly over the planet, and still have to adapt and move on somewhere else, don't you think, boy? - Amorella

       1630 hours. We. as a species, don't have to do anything.

       Neither do you but you would rather do something constructive than nothing. - Amorella

       1632 hours. I need a break.


       Post. - Amorella

       2232 hours. I still feel an obligation, a duty, to do something constructive with my life. I would rather do it through writing.

       Orndorff, you have no choice but to do whatever it is you want to do through writing. - Amorella

       2236 hours. I am attached to the alphabet as mathematicians are attached to numbers. I feel I have no choice but to return to my goal to complete my stories. The problem is, I feel, that I have lost my passion for writing fiction. I am tired of writing about my bout with being human.

       Being human is your natural state. What an odd thing to say, "I am tired of writing about my bout with being human." - Amorella

       2244 hours. Is it possible to have ever been anything else humanoid besides Homo sapiens, Neanderthals and Denisovans?

       You are not making a good thought/question construction here. What difference would it make no  matter what anyone's DNA mixture might be? Why do you struggle with being human when it is what you are?

       2312 hours. We are a mixture of what matter once was and is. Do we hold any consciousness of previous material states of being?

       That is a better question. Let's save it until tomorrow. Post. - Amorella

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